Briefs
New Candidate for New York’s 3rd Congressional District Announced
Soon after the House of Representatives voted to expel George Santos from his position, several candidates from both sides of the aisle announced their bids for …
Psychoanalysis Wrapped — Your Top Armchair Diagnoses in 2023
If your day-to-day interactions with strangers were anything to go by, 2023 was a hard year for you. You exhibited 2,133 different typical behaviors that people …
Rocket Launch ‘Went Perfectly’
After another launch of SpaceX’s Starship rocket culminated in a “rapid unscheduled disassembly,” one expert noted: “This means that it blew up (in other words, the …
UCSD to Replace All Footpaths with Scooter-Only Lanes
In a controversial decision last Tuesday, the UC San Diego facilities department announced a plan to convert all the footpaths on campus into scooter-only lanes. Ryder …
Humans Declared Critically Endangered by ‘Guy Who Can’t Get Laid’
An intern for the Environmental Protection Agency recently declared humans an endangered species on the agency’s X account. The post was quickly retracted by the intern’s …
Rats Unionize
UC San Diego’s rodent population has recently received recognition as an organized union by campus administration. The Lab Rats’ 12-month campaign has garnered them protections against …
Every Time a College is Opened, a Provost Gains its Wings
With the opening of Eighth College this year and the anticipated opening of more in the near future, upwards mobility in the provost job market is …
UCSD Student Begins New TikTok Gym Trend: ‘Deathmaxxing’
UC San Diego student Jim Borough has found himself at the center of a new workout trend taking TikTok by storm, dubbed “Deathmaxxing,” which began with …
UCSD Buys Seaworld to Expand SIO Research
On Tuesday, the Regents of the University of California allowed UC San Diego to buy the SeaWorld theme park for a price of $200 million to …
MTS Exclusive Offer Was Available October 1–30 ONLY
For the fall season, MTS held a monthlong promotion where bus riders received a certain amount of points based on how far they commuted. Points were …


