Opinion
A Proper Wife’s Routine
My alarm rings at 3:57 a.m. sharp. I bolt upright in my twin-size bed, quietly creeping out as to not wake my husband, who slumbers in …
I Need to Keep Renovating
I recently bought a house and with it began a brand new chapter of my life. I’m so excited to live in this big, beautiful home, …
I Have Somethin’ Very Important to Say
Listen, I want you to sit down when I tell you this. I’ll wait. Make sure you’re all nice ‘n’ comfy and your seatbelt’s strapped an’ …
Celebrities Have Lost Touch with Reality vs. Respectfully, I’m a Little Freaked Out Right Now
Point: Celebrities Have Lost Touch with Reality The time was 22:55. I just got off work and eagerly made my way to my home office. I …
WHERE ARE MY DESIGNER BABIES??? vs. Get More Creative
Point: WHERE ARE MY DESIGNER BABIES??? Prepping to be La Jolla’s best mother is no easy task. Our future princess Jadelynne has to be perfect — …
You’re So Cute vs. No, You Are!
Point: You’re So Cute! The sun-bright construction lights lining Ridgewalk illuminated everything from the darkest corner of the Sixth College dorms to the trees of Torrey …
UCSD Pisser Completely Soaks My Bedsheets!
Well, he got me, guys. What was supposed to be a very light and chill night hanging with a couple of my SDSU bros ended with …
UCSD Has Crazy Housing Inequality!!!
I am Hermit the Crab, a freshman at UC San Diego and the first non-human to enroll in the school’s history. I major in Real Estate …
Santa Claus is a Filthy Commie vs. Santa Claus is a Greedy Capitalist
Every year, this man parades around, spreading his communist propaganda, and is celebrated for it. Well, I won’t stand for it!
For goodness’ sake, this man spreads…
How to Have a Hot Girl Hanukkah
As an advance warning, this holiday guide will end with boiling yourself in oil. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! I haven’t introduced the …
