Opinion
I Will Never Write an Editorial
When I was three years old my family took a vow of silence. My father refused to further pollute the marketplace of ideas with our half-baked …
I Can’t Wait For the Free and Fair 2026 Elections!
You’ve seen it, I’ve seen it, we’ve all seen it. That little orange thing that’s been all over the news lately. Such a dumb person in …
Take a Break or I’ll Take You Out
I get it: life is hard. But I swear to God I am going to get you if you keep making me feel like shit all …
All I Do Is Talk, Because Nobody Listens
Every day I set up at another table at another college with another microphone and another stack of white hats. But these days, I never seem …
How The Sunshine Market Renovation Ruined My Life
Scene: It’s the first day of Spring Quarter, and I’m walking through Price Center. I am unbothered, serene even, as I dodge the usual lunchtime swarm …
Maybe Cool It On the Parties vs. Your Mom Pays Me To Be Your Friend
Point: Maybe Cool It On the Parties Hey, man. I can tell you’ve been pretty stressed about your homework lately. And I get it! Finals season …
American English Makes More Sense Than British English vs. BRITANNIA FOREVER
Point: American English Makes More Sense Than British English Well gee golly, I’m so sorry to be causing a fuss, but I feel it must be …
My Boss Killed Me in a Past Life – Here’s How I’m Leveraging That in My Career
They say eyes are the window to the soul. And much like a house, when you look through those windows into someone’s soul, you might see …
It’s Really Hard Being The Little Stinker of American Law
Listen, in my heart, fundamentally, I’m just a chill guy, you know? I went to Yale, sure, but not in a lame, pretentious way, only because …
Wait, You Guys Already Had Your Enrollment Times?
So, here’s the issue. I was under the impression that class enrollment just hadn’t happened for anyone yet. Because when enrollment times came out and WebReg …
