Opinion
I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage vs. I Can’t Read the Ransom Note
Point: I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage Hello, Alan. I want to play a game. You won’t receive any of these instructions, only a note from …
There Are No Third Spaces Anymore! vs Get A Second Job, Dumbass!
Point: There Are No Third Spaces Anymore! The third space — a place that isn’t work or home — is a nearly extinct presence in modern …
Just an Everyday Guy Loved by Billions (of Dollars)
Hey, ahah, could you spare me a dollar? Sorry, sorry, kidding. You took me back to my roots when I saw what you were wearing, back …
Some People Shouldn’t Have Jobs
Is it me, or are people just hiring anybody these days? I only ask because, last week, I heard that an old schoolmate of mine, Mandy, …
A Proper Wife’s Routine
My alarm rings at 3:57 a.m. sharp. I bolt upright in my twin-size bed, quietly creeping out as to not wake my husband, who slumbers in …
I Need to Keep Renovating
I recently bought a house and with it began a brand new chapter of my life. I’m so excited to live in this big, beautiful home, …
I Have Somethin’ Very Important to Say
Listen, I want you to sit down when I tell you this. I’ll wait. Make sure you’re all nice ‘n’ comfy and your seatbelt’s strapped an’ …
Celebrities Have Lost Touch with Reality vs. Respectfully, I’m a Little Freaked Out Right Now
Point: Celebrities Have Lost Touch with Reality The time was 22:55. I just got off work and eagerly made my way to my home office. I …
WHERE ARE MY DESIGNER BABIES??? vs. Get More Creative
Point: WHERE ARE MY DESIGNER BABIES??? Prepping to be La Jolla’s best mother is no easy task. Our future princess Jadelynne has to be perfect — …
UCSD Pisser Completely Soaks My Bedsheets!
Well, he got me, guys. What was supposed to be a very light and chill night hanging with a couple of my SDSU bros ended with …
