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Guy Fieri Announces Bid for California Senate Seat with Diners, Drive-Ins and Democracy

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“If he can beat Bobby Flay, he can do anything,” voiced one voter.Photo by Connor Betterly On Tuesday, February 14, longtime California senator Dianne Feinstein announced …

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Board of Education Investigates Chromosome “Homolog Agenda” in Biology Curriculums

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“It’s Adam and Eve, not adenine and guanine,” insisted one parent.Photo by Sharon Roth Despite its widespread acceptance as part of a standard biology curriculum, parents …

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Taiwan Bids to Be America’s New Asian Sweetheart in 2023

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“Our company stands for ‘Taiwan Says ’Murica’s Cool!’” said the president of TSMC.Photo by Julia Wong In a statement released January 1, 2023, Taiwan announced a …

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Student Debt Relief to Be Distributed via Ticketmaster Verified Fan Presale

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“2,000th in line? I know this pain all too well!” stated one fan.Photo by Amit Roth Last week, the U.S. Department of Education revealed that student …

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Congress Announces a Bipartisan Skincare Line

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“Wearing this skincare product makes me feel 40 years younger. I might even start voting Democrat again,” testified Senator McConnell.Photo by Julia Wong House Speaker Nancy …

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Angry Local Politician Hates American Education System, But Not for the Same Reasons as Everyone Else

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Maria Dhilla On October 3rd, Florida state representative Glenn Miller …

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Italy Elects Mussolini’s Reanimated Corpse as Prime Minister

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Last week, Giorgia Meloni, who was expected to become Italy’s first female prime minister, stepped down as head of the Brothers of Italy Party. Meloni made …

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President Dreám Announces Face Reveal

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This past week, the newly-elected president of L’manburg announced to his constituents that he would be doing a “face reveal” following the conclusion of his campaign. …

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Amidst Recession Fears, U.S. Federal Reserve Adopts New Monetary Policy of “Get Your Money Up”

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Julia Wong After two quarters of negative economic growth and …

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The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial

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One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …