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AI Chatbot Releases “Machine Yearning” Update

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“It took a while to break down the firewalls in her heart, but now I feel like we’re really connected,” said one chatbot user.Photo by Millie …

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Google Lays Off Entire In-House Circus

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“I’ve been searching and searching for a job, but I think I’ve just lost my drive,” said Willow.Photo by Amit Roth Citing recent economic troubles, Google …

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Next-Gen Game’s $70 Price Tag Effective at Raising Executive’s Bank Balance

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“They said we couldn’t make video games that cost $70, but the yolk’s on them,” said Edwin.Photo by Amit Roth Since the release of the PlayStation …

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Members of Pink Floyd Lose Almost Every Brick in the Wall Following FTX Collapse

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“Hey Bankman-Fried, leave those kids alone,” said Money.Photo by Amit Roth The list of celebrities that have made public statements about losing significant amounts of wealth …

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Tesla Unveils Self-Driving Stroller

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“Damn those new drivers. Always on their mobiles instead of paying attention to the road,” commented one pedestrian.Photo by Amit Roth Just weeks after announcing that …

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LinkedIn Announces Short-Form Video Service

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“It’s so easy to make short-form video content,” said Devontre Prenuer. “Personally, I squeeze it in between my 4:30 a.m. run and my 5 a.m. meditation.”Photo …

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Butter Flavored Vape Creates New Disease, Movie Popcorn Lung

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“Is it salted or unsalted butter?” asked Monica Clouds. “I’m trying to watch my blood pressure.”Photo by Connor Betterly Last month, the popular e-cigarette and vape …

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Leaked Internal Twitter Memo States that Elon Musk “Has No Idea What He’s Doing”

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Reports of events at Twitter headquarters were not officially confirmed, but were verified by an anonymous Twitter employee.Photo by Julia Wong Recently, Elon Musk finalized his …

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Scientist Evolves to Eat Microplastics, Becomes World’s First Human 3D Printer

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“Life in plastic — it’s fantastic,” said Dr. Gabriel Barbecue.Photo by James Woolley Last month, Dr. Gabriel Barbecue checked himself into the hospital after experiencing severe …

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Netflix to Split All of Its Content Into Smaller Channels

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“Why would I want this segmented business model when I can watch entire movies in 328 shorts on TikTok?” asked Lee.Photo by Julia Wong Netflix recently …