Aaron Sonin

I’m here to chew satire and write bubblegum. And I’m all out of satire.


La Jolla Village Square Parking Lot Replaced With “The Pit”

Written by: Aaron Sonin

“I love the pit,” said one Ralphs customer. “My 2005 Toyota Sienna went in, and a brand new Lamborghini came out.”Photo by Maria Dhilla On Sunday, …

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I’ve Been Disguising McDonald’s as My Own Cooking for Years

Written by: Aaron Sonin

BY CHEFANON I have harbored the weight of an immense guilt for years, and it has finally become too much to bear. I’ll admit it — …

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Arctic Circle Restaurant Review – The Bat

Written by: Aaron Sonin

Come hang out at The Bat! You won’t find fancy dish presentations or lighting in this establishment—instead, you’ll be dining among the sounds of chefs and …

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Remy – Rat Chef

Written by: Aaron Sonin

Over a decade ago, I began to notice the foundations of discrimination and speciesism on which Paris’s restaraunt industry is built upon. Many restaurants refused — …

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Genentech Slated to Release Highly Anticipated “Human 2.0” Update

Written by: Aaron Sonin

Next Thursday, the biotechnology giant Genentech is expected to release the “long-overdue” version 2.0 of Humanity. The update is said to contain many useful additions, alongside …


UCSD Announces Transcripts and Diplomas to be Available Exclusively as NFTs

Written by: Aaron Sonin

“I can’t believe how easy this crypto stuff is,” exclaimed one student, “I traded my diploma for a picture of a funny monkey and now I’m …