Online Exclusives

Online Exclusives

Newton’s Long-lost Fourth Law Revolutionizes Physics

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Last Saturday, a janitor was cleaning out a closet and stumbled into a hidden chamber at Trinity College in Cambridge, England. Inside the chamber was an …

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UCSD to Remove All Grass on Campus for the Construction of Ninth College

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As the construction of its Eighth College nears completion, UC San Diego’s administration has announced a plan for the university’s ninth college, Ninth College. “We needed …

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Will you help Him?

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Test your chivalry with this interactive clickventure! *Clickventures may not function at full capacity with mobile viewing.

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TikTok Songs in Dining Halls Make Customers Prone to Involuntary Fits of Dancing

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Since late September, reports of involuntary fits of dancing induced by TikTok songs being played on the radio in dining halls have come in at an …

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UCSD to Launch New Subscription Based Wifi Service

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On Monday, UCSD announced the launch of a new wifi network that will be available to students that purchase a monthly subscription plan. Preorders for the …

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I’m the gallon of milk in your fridge you have not touched since week 1

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This cold, desolate land has been all I’ve known. When I was chosen by you, I thought I had a chance at a rich, adventurous life. …

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Wall Street Grows Tired of Betting Against the Livelihood of Working Class People, Begins Betting Against Working Class’s Lives Directly

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Major Wall Street investors and mutual funds have recently begun a new trading strategy. Instead of investments in traditional businesses or commodities, many investors have traded …

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In Resolution of Third Strike, 64 Employees Receive Conciliatory Turkey

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Photo by Sharon Roth In the spirit of Thanksgiving, HDH and striking 64 degrees employees finally reached a settlement last Thursday. Student employees have had mixed reactions, …

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Hark! Welcometh Back to Mine ThouTube Channel

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Hark! Welcometh back to mine ThouTube channel. Maketh sure to like, comment, and tell thy bellkeep to ring the bell in the towne square so thou …