Today, we time-traveled to UC San Diego in the year 3022. After going for a slime in the goop car and trying out the new “simulated death” machine, we stopped by the new MQ Office…

You know how this goes: the horse races. The ol’ equine escapades. The mare-athon. The track and field for big dogs. The mosey for your posey. You get the gist. Everyone knows there are three great aspects of horse racing — the costume, the horses, and the homoerotic tension between you and your rival as the horses you both bet on are neck and neck around the bend…