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"I'm not asleep. My mind is alive."

- Joe Biden, President of the
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Back Page

Back Page • Features

March 15, 2023

Top Ten Ways to Prevent Scurvy… Arrr!

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

March 15, 2023

The MQ Creates a Breakfast Cereal

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

February 8, 2023

The MQ’s Spring Olympics

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

November 28, 2022

The MQ Redesigns the Food Pyramid

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

October 26, 2022

Prop MQ: High-speed Railway from Fresno to Bakersfield

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

September 23, 2022

The MQ Shares Their Summer Intern Experience

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

June 1, 2022

In Memoriam

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Bon Appétit • Features • Special Issue

May 27, 2022

Featured Dishes

Written by: Sharon Roth, Connor Betterly and Farhad Taraporevala

Back Page • Bon Appétit • Features • Special Issue

May 27, 2022

Bon Appétit – Back Ad

Written by: The MQ

Back Page • Features

March 9, 2022

The MQ Plans Their Day

Written by: The MQ

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The News in Brief

  • March 15, 2023

    March Madness Shortens Format To Draw in Younger Audience

    After years of declining viewership, the NCAA announced a shift in their annual March Madness tournament in an effort to “pander to those damn kids.” “It’s …

  • UCSD Athletics Pivots to Rotisserie Chicken Eating

    March 15, 2023

  • Vending Machine Haunted By Malevolent Sprite

    March 15, 2023

  • STEM Major discovered Eating at Roots

    March 15, 2023

  • International Community Marks 50 Years Since WHO Pandemic Declaration

    March 15, 2023

  • Target Announces Ides of March Pride Collection

    March 15, 2023

  • Student Awaits Punishment for “Bathroom Grinding”

    March 15, 2023

Playing in the IKEA showroom since 1988.

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Government-sponsored satire.

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Online Exclusive

  • March 15, 2023

    Goodyear Blimp Grounded Indefinitely 

    Throughout the month of February, several balloons flying over North America were shot down by U.S. fighter pilots. Following these incidents, Goodyear announced that their blimp …

Satire that will make you feel something.

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Overdipping the chip since 1988.

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We just kinda wing it.

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The best way to start your day is by opening your eyes.

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