Peaceful Protest Declared Unlawful

Written by: The MQ

“Above all, UC San Diego prides itself on nurturing the health and well-being of our grass,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Liv Gilbert On May 6, Chancellor …


Race Tightens for Annual Vanity Giving Contest

Written by: Jackson Conte

“Putting my name on buildings is basically retail therapy,” said Irwin Jacobs.Photo by Amit Roth Tense negotiations are underway regarding the naming rights for UC San …


UC San Diego School of Medicine to Teach ‘Intro to Victim Blaming’

Written by: Justin Xu

“There’s a shortage of doctors in this country. This course will ensure an equivalent shortage of patients,” said Dr. Quickity Quack.Photo by Amit Roth and Farhad …


UCSD Purchases Fleet of Invisible Buses

Written by: Amit Roth

“I finally learned what the inside of a black hole looks like,” said Katherine Cambpell. “I was rather disappointed to find out it was just a …


HDH Changes Menu Following FDA Crackdown

Written by: Janice Kim

“I still get food poisoning, but now I know exactly why,” said one student.Photo by Kai Nguyen The Triton2Go Mobile Order app has long been a …


Students to Graduate

Written by: James Woolley

“It’s great commencement is outside the unemployment office. Really saves time on my commute,” said graduating student Onion Ployable.Photo by Erica Rosslee and Jordan Whitlow After …


UCSD Construction Cranes Named New Official Mascot

Written by: Shayna Crasnick

“The future of our school mascot is up in the air — 265 feet, to be exact,” said Douglas Upton.Photo by Kai Nguyen The Stuart Art …


UCSD’s New Mental Health Initiative Is ‘Queering the Male Loneliness Binary’

Written by: Sylvia Terry

“I don’t even need to take this class,” said one workshop attendee. “I just treat every woman like my mother.”Photo by Madeline Mozafari Amid the recent …


Chancellor Khosla Announces New Evil Department

Written by: Cole Johnson

“Finally, I can pick the greater of two evils,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt An email sent by Chancellor Pradeep Khosla last Thursday announced that …


HDH Enacts Quarterly Speed Dating Trials

Written by: Sydney Alexander

“The incessant buzzing of the fluorescent lights really sets the mood,” said one student.Photo by James Woolley For the past two quarters, UC San Diego Housing, …