UCSD’s New Mental Health Initiative Is ‘Queering the Male Loneliness Binary’

Written by: Sylvia Terry

“I don’t even need to take this class,” said one workshop attendee. “I just treat every woman like my mother.”Photo by Madeline Mozafari Amid the recent …


Chancellor Khosla Announces New Evil Department

Written by: Cole Johnson

“Finally, I can pick the greater of two evils,” said one student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt An email sent by Chancellor Pradeep Khosla last Thursday announced that …


UCSD to Introduce Mini-Triple Rooms

Written by: Naomika Nadkarni

“In this room, my mini fridge looks like a regular fridge,” said Cole Habitation.Photo by Naomika Nadkarni and James Woolley UC San Diego has announced it …


SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast

Written by: Chris Zhang

“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …


HDH Enacts Quarterly Speed Dating Trials

Written by: Sydney Alexander

“The incessant buzzing of the fluorescent lights really sets the mood,” said one student.Photo by James Woolley For the past two quarters, UC San Diego Housing, …


Last S Spot Declared UNESCO World Heritage Site

Written by: Janice Kim

“What the hell did the S even stand for?!” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Over the course of the last school year, the university’s Parking …


Khosla Converts Audrey Geisel House into Airbnb

Written by: Shayna Crasnick

“He keeps eating my freaking yogurt,” said one mansion resident.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Since Fall Quarter 2021, UC San Diego has faced an unprecedented housing crisis, …


Khosla Declares UCSD Tuition ‘Too Low’

Written by: Justin Xu

“I’m proud to announce that we no longer have students living under the poverty line,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Justin Xu At a recent press conference, …


ChatGPT Caught Cheating on Student

Written by: Janice Kim

“I thought we were in an open source relationship!” said ChatGPT.Photo by Julia Wong Navigating multiple deferrals and the students sleeping in their hallways, the Academic …


iPads Mandated in UCSD Classrooms

Written by: Katie Campbell

Students are reportedly bringing back the tradition of putting an Apple on the teachers desk.Photo by Amit Roth In preparation for Spring 2024 course registration, UC …