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Chancellor Khosla ‘Draws Line’ at Censoring Hate Speech

Written by: Destiney Friday

TIMELY WARNING: Suspect suspected, call (714) 227-4834 if spotted.Photo by Amit Roth On May 6, the Office of the Chancellor sent out a school wide email …

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Students Trapped in Pokéballs Following Canvas Hack

Written by: Aidan Moran

RIMAC to be converted to fighting-type gym.Photo by Amit Roth On May 7, ShinyHunters, a self-proclaimed “white hat” cybercrime ring, compromised schoolwork platform Canvas. In additon …

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Price Center Taco Bell Closes for Renovations

Written by: Nicolas Dermardirosian

“When will they crunch-wrap-up the construction?” asked one eager student.Photo by Dylan Schmidt According to Kay Sadilla, manager of the Taco Bell at UC San Diego’s …

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School Year Extended Indefinitely

Written by: The MQ and Abby Offenhauser

“You have been condemned to Hell,” said Canvas.Photo by Ezra Bihis Over the past few weeks, UC San Diego undergraduates like Deni Isle have noted that …

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Books Call for Lower Book Prices

Written by: The MQ and Sanjay Sivakumar

“It’s time to fight back,” said the encyclopedia.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Class reading materials from nationwide university-run bookstores have begun to organize en masse in reaction …

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Research Department Observes Theoretical Beach

Written by: The MQ and David Muñoz

“So this is what those beach episodes in anime were about?” said one weebish researcher.Photo by Amit Roth I n a shocking discovery made by “particularly …

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Chancellor Named Sexiest Man Alive

Written by: The MQ

“Uhhh the rioters keep chanting Khosla and the word hung, we don’t know what that means,”said one admin member.Photo by Adrien Agreste Last week, People Magazine …

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Student Re-Discovers RestroomsAfter Species Declared Endangered

Written by: The MQ and Kocheng Lin

“I knew that hunting regulation would come in handy,” said the bathroomologist.Photo by David Muñoz and Dylan Schmidt With the imminent reopening of Pines and Roots, …

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Girl Scouts Introduces New Cookie: The ‘Marijuana Munchie’

Written by: The MQ and Daniel Palacios-Villegas

“HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME,” said The Tweaker.Photo by David Muñoz To make up for losses from “disappointing” winter cookie sales at UC San Diego, …

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UCSD Gloving and Sliding Teams Duel in Revelle Plaza

Written by: Lilia Sanchez

“When you’re a glover, you’re a glover all the way,” said one glover. “From your firstcigarette to your last dying day.”Photo by Destiney Friday During a …