Katie Campbell

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Life Is Horrible, but I Have a Little Drink

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I have been in a constant state of misery since September 23, 2022, after the innocent newness of Fall Quarter ceased to appeal to me and …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

My Boyfriend Hates My Sex Playlist

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Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …

Briefs

Target Announces Ides of March Pride Collection

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On March 12, Target CEO Knott Pandring announced the newest entry to the store’s Pride collection of dishware and home goods: a set of 23 knives …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Chemists Abandon IUPAC in Favor of “Making Shit Up”

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“I’m pretty sure someone labeled the heavy water as regular water,” remarked one slightly heavier lab student.Photo by Millie You After two afternoons of deliberations, the …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

People These Days Don’t Know How Hard It Is to Be an Immortal Wizard

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Wizards of San Diego, I come to you all with the most horrible problem I have ever faced in my short 200 years of existence. I …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

I’m Finally Speaker of the House vs. You Are a Spineless Fool, Your Days are Numbered

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Point: I’m Finally Speaker of the House As children, many Americans dream of being astronauts, ballerinas, or kings. However, we are a fickle nation — no …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Announces New “DILF”-Focused Research Center to Promote Equality

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“This project has fathered many other studies,” said Simgod Friend.Photo by James Woolley Following the reveal of the Human Milk Institute, UCSD announced the Human Observation …