Katie Campbell
Dear Emily Queue: Family-Free Thanksgiving Edition
Dear Emily Queue, how do I tell my grandparents I don’t want to see them this year? I live my life by one crucial rule: only …
I Must Return to the Real World
Beloved wizards and magicians of the greater San Diego area, it is time for me to hang up my hat and cloak in favor of the …
Alabama Embryologists Adopt 873 Children
“Embryo #405 has great aspirations to become a teacher,” said Abbie Maker.Photo by Amit Roth Following the recent controversial ruling by Alabama’s Supreme Court, all frozen …
White House Mandates New ‘mNRA’ Vaccines
In a controversial move last Thursday, the White House announced that all members of the military will be required to receive an “mNRA” vaccine to remain …
Dear Emily Queue: Leap Day Edition
Dear Emily Queue, if I see my shadow on Leap Day, will there be 28 more days of February?Of course not! Who do you think you …
iPads Mandated in UCSD Classrooms
Students are reportedly bringing back the tradition of putting an Apple on the teachers desk.Photo by Amit Roth In preparation for Spring 2024 course registration, UC …
UCSD Lifts Undergraduate Laboratory Safety Protocols
“Now I can come to lab straight from Black’s Beach,” said Axident.Photo by Millie You Following a classified document leak last week, UC San Diego Environment, …
Ask Emily Queue: Eco-Friendly Halloween
Dear Emily Queue, how soon can I start stealing other people’s Jack-o’-lanterns to compost? Is this really where we’re at? This is basic etiquette, people. As …
Student Sealed Away, Shredded, Thrown Into Ocean
Following a controversial Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament at a San Diego game store, UC San Diego student Keto Saiba was accused of using banned cards in his Exodia …
We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse
Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …
