News
Researchers Implant First Entirely Artificial Personality
The Joe Rogan Experience will become available to every US citizen in the coming month.Photo by Jordan Whitlow In what is being called one of the …
UCSD Reports First Cases of Dancing Plague Since 1518
“Shake it off,” advised Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Theo Erickson Amid surges of COVID and mounting cases of H5N1, France recently began reporting individuals engaging in “spontaneous …
Revelle College to Introduce Epistemology Requirement
“We had to write our own textbook,” said HUM 0 student Levah-Mia Lone.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Revelle College has announced that they will add a new …
Mandeville Gallery Starts Sending Art from the Future
“I don’t know if I can milk 250 words out of this for my discussion post,” said student Scheele Breen.Photo by Jordan Whitlow UC San Diego’s …
5G Towers Found to Spread Cell Service
“Phages hate this one trick,” said undergraduate research assistant Polly Merrace.Photo by Theo Erickson A recent breakthrough study led by Gervin Hernandez, an electrical engineer with …
Elon Musk Takes Place as First Gentleman
“Trump keeps calling himself a coal-powered power bottom,” said a White House staff member.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Two weeks ago, the United States presidential inauguration marked …
Geekvape Launches Pacifiers
“I am ripping phat cloudz off this cart. JUULius Caesar is almost empty,” said preschooler Little Jimmy.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Geekvape, a leading manufacturer of electronic …
UCSD Acquires Trolley for Student Housing
“Next station: Blue Line Hall,” stated the trolley intercom. “La siguiente estación: Blue Line Hall. Blue Line Hall is next.”Photo by Amit Roth A recently declassified …
‘Hot Debate’ Engulfs National Collegiate Curling Scene
“They’re just too hot,” said Vegen. “We don’t stand a chance!”Photo by Destiny Friday Following their meteoric rise to become NCAA champions, the UC San Diego …
Student Spends ‘Lost Week’ Resting
“I winter broke, but I didn’t winter heal,” said Slaque.Photo by Janice Kim Following a Fall quarter in which they took 22 units and worked part-time, …
