The MQ

"I'm ready to die now. Tonight"

- Katya Zamolodchikova,
The Only High-Class Russian Whore 

June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII
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Top Ten

Top Ten

June 10, 2026

Top Ten Ways to Stand Out at Your New Job

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

June 10, 2026

Top Ten Ways to Make Money

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

June 10, 2026

TOP TEN Ways to Stand Out at Your New Job

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

June 3, 2026

Top Ten Things That Aren’t Sexy Enough

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

June 3, 2026

Top Ten Things That Won’t Fly in Grad School

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 11, 2026

Top Ten Reasons to Join the Military

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 11, 2026

Top Ten Things to Add to the Water Supply

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 11, 2026

Top Ten American Sports That Should Be In the Olympics

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 11, 2026

Top Ten Ways to Win an Argument

Written by: The MQ

Top Ten

March 11, 2026

Reasons Not to Use Public Transport

Written by: The MQ

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The News in Brief

  • June 10, 2026

    AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

    In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

  • GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

    June 10, 2026

  • UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

    June 10, 2026

  • PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

    June 10, 2026

  • Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

    March 11, 2026

  • Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

    March 11, 2026

  • BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

    March 11, 2026

High in fiber! Feels even better coming out than going in.

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Online Exclusive

  • June 10, 2026

    Pharmaceutical Company Unveils New ‘Soma’ Wellness Pills

    On March 8, Bernard Huxley, CEO of “wellness corporation” HuxleyHealth, which offers Instagram Reel–based primary care and supplementals announced BigBrother would be releasing a line of …

Purrusing the Paper

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a newspaper!

A car, however...

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