June 3, 2026 You look delectable. Volume XXXII Issue VII

Reasons Not to Use Public Transport

Top Ten

Written by: The MQ

March 11, 2026

  1. It’s communist
  2. Too many wheels
  3. It’s not run on human blood
  4. They get mad if I watch pornography
  5. The accordion buses remind me of the human centipede
  6. My glove compartment handgun will get lonely
  7. What if it like flips over or something
  8. I don’t want to give them my coins
  9. Buses aren’t in the Bible
  10. Man peeing

The MQ

The premier satire publication at UC San Diego.

Last modified: March 9, 2026