Local
SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast
“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …
Local Gamer Embarks on ‘Relationship Nuzlocke’ to Legalize Polyamory
“I’ve always been weak to normal types,” said Nico Franc.Photo by Connor Betterly Polyamory is rising in recognition and favorability among young people, but legal protections …
Man Gets What He Wants by Wishing upon a Star
“I tried to wish on the star too,” said Richard #29, “but nothing happened.”Photo by Dylan Schmidt In a series of events reported as “rare” by …
Man ‘Halfway’ to Fluency Through Mahjong Playing
“Learning Literary Chinese through mahjong is as easy as 一二三,” said Scrooge.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala University City resident Whitley Scrooge has begun playing amateur mahjong on …
La Jolla Coffee Shop to Require Three-Acre Land Ownership for Restroom Access
“Finally! A place where I can shit in opulence,” said one Sand&Foam guest.Photo by Amit Roth An upcoming amendment to the employee training guide of La …
Salk Researchers Find Chemicals in Water Supply
“Chemicals in the water supply? Next thing you know they’ll be putting chemicals in food!” said one parent.Photo by James Woolley In a new report from …
La Jolla Village Square Parking Lot Replaced With “The Pit”
“I love the pit,” said one Ralphs customer. “My 2005 Toyota Sienna went in, and a brand new Lamborghini came out.”Photo by Maria Dhilla On Sunday, …
God Continues to Send Prophetic Dreams to Man Who Never Remembers His Dreams
“The rain is looking a little red, and there have been a lot of frogs and locusts, but I think that’s just climate change,” said Palm.Photo …
Local Rancher Inconvenienced by New Breed of Spherical Cow
“I’ll never have to imagine a spherical cow again,” said one physics student.Photo by Millie You This February, cattle rancher Nicholas “Mixalot” Minhoj was “shocked” after …
Costco to Offer Medication Samples
“I love Costco,” said Davis. “I never knew prices so low could make me feel so high.”Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In a groundbreaking move last week, …
