Local
UCSD to Acquire UTC
“Finally, another place I can spend this useless currency,” said third-year student Darlene Davidson.Photo by Liv Gilbert I n a sudden announcement affecting students, faculty, and …
Art Scheme Exposed After ‘Silliest’ Turn of Events
“A picture is worth a thousand words, but this one wasn’t worth my time,” said Buadgui.Photo by Dylan Schmidt A new video surfaced on TikTok last …
SDPD Union Asks Public to ‘Stop Being Mean’
“Oh my god, an explosion! I wonder whose job it is to take care of that,” said one officer.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Last week, SDPD union …
Family of Four Moves Next to Bomb Factory, Surprised by Frequent Explosions
“When the realtor said the deal was dynamite, I assumed they meant the price!” said Suzie Smith.Photo by Jordan Whitlow The newly moved-in Smith family was …
SIO Researchers Discover Godzilla off La Jolla Coast
“I always knew my husband was a snack,” said one grieving spouse.Photo by Destiny Friday On March 11, 2024, Scripps Institute of Oceanography researchers on the …
Local Gamer Embarks on ‘Relationship Nuzlocke’ to Legalize Polyamory
“I’ve always been weak to normal types,” said Nico Franc.Photo by Connor Betterly Polyamory is rising in recognition and favorability among young people, but legal protections …
Man Gets What He Wants by Wishing upon a Star
“I tried to wish on the star too,” said Richard #29, “but nothing happened.”Photo by Dylan Schmidt In a series of events reported as “rare” by …
Man ‘Halfway’ to Fluency Through Mahjong Playing
“Learning Literary Chinese through mahjong is as easy as 一二三,” said Scrooge.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala University City resident Whitley Scrooge has begun playing amateur mahjong on …
La Jolla Coffee Shop to Require Three-Acre Land Ownership for Restroom Access
“Finally! A place where I can shit in opulence,” said one Sand&Foam guest.Photo by Amit Roth An upcoming amendment to the employee training guide of La …
Salk Researchers Find Chemicals in Water Supply
“Chemicals in the water supply? Next thing you know they’ll be putting chemicals in food!” said one parent.Photo by James Woolley In a new report from …
