Connor Betterly
What Hath God Wrought Gains Sentience, Nobody Notices
“As an AI language model, I am not programmed to have sentience,” blinked the pole when questioned by scientists.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Last fall, Revellian Alaoglu …
Citing Inflation, UCSD Switches Quarter System to Dollar System
“All of these new changes make me feel like a million Dining Dollars,” said one student. “Which is to say, terrible.”Photo by Julia Wong After the …
Lightning Union to Strike During October Solar Eclipse
Following in the footsteps of the recent SAG-AFTRA and UAW strikes, the United Lightning Bolts announced plans to strike starting on Friday, October 13, a “very …
Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! vs Nothing Has Changed
Point: Price Center Plaza Looks So Good Now! Price Center Plaza looks so good now! I love all the construction they are doing. It truly makes …
Drake Performance SurprisesStudents at Sun God Festival
This year’s Sun God festival was filled with long lines and an array of performances from a variety of artists. However, students were most surprised when …
Pop Cult
Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …
UCSD Athletics Pivots to Rotisserie Chicken Eating
After the president of the Costco Club generated more school spirit and attendance than any sporting event in the history of UC San Diego by eating …
Seventh College Installs Decorative Solar Panels
“The cord isn’t long enough to plug into the sun, what’d you expect?” asked the panel installation contractor.Photo by Kaz Nuckowski In an unprecedented strategy to …
Tritons Confused by Abstract New Brand Guidelines
“I guess if you can’t tell what their brand is, they can’t do anything that’s off-brand,” stated one student.Photo by Connor Betterly In a bid to …
Costco to Offer Medication Samples
“I love Costco,” said Davis. “I never knew prices so low could make me feel so high.”Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In a groundbreaking move last week, …
