Liv Gilbert
Moldy Lunchly Packages Become Collector’s Items
Grocery stores have reported that demand for the Lunchly snack brand created by the YouTube star James Donaldson, known as MrBeast online, has rapidly increased after …
Boeing ‘Nearly Fucked’
The new Boeing 737s will reportedly feature coin slots which must be continuouslyfed in order to keep the plane in the air.Photo by Liv Gilbert Amidst …
Median Voter Found
“Nobody’s really asked me how I’ve felt about all this, and I don’t really know either,” said Kevin Clerkson.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala In the tightly contested …
IRS Debuts ‘Ultimate’ Form
Responding to mounting criticisms of the American tax system, the Internal Revenue Service announced the release of Form One: a single unified form that will be …
Disney Copyrights ‘Everything’
“I think these copyright laws are really Goofy… I mean silly!” said Benson Honeydid.Photo by Julia Wong Following the recent introduction of the classic Disney short …
Associated Students Pledges to Fund Federal Government in Case of Shutdown
“I knew there was a reason we had all those CIA recruiters here,” said one third-year student.Photo by Millie You In the wake of ousting Kevin …
RIMAC to Replace All Dumbbells With Shake Weights
“These weights may suck, but at least I can make a protein shake with them,” said Jim Ratt.Photo by Millie You UC San Diego Recreation announced …
We Should Respectfully Ask HDH to Charge Less for Food vs Hop In Comrade, We’re Seizing the Means of Production
Point: We Should Respectfully Ask HDH to Charge Less for Food Look, I know that we’re all getting annoyed at the fact that HDH always seems …
Pop Cult
Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …
Third-Year Math Major Forgets How to Spell Numbers
“Why can’t I just use the letter ‘x’ to represent every number I have to spell? That would be so much easier,” remarked Calculus.Photo by Julia …