“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.
Photo by Dylan Schmidt
With Republicans controlling all branches of the US government, the Democratic Party has faced mounting pressure from voters to find a new direction. Several new coalitions within the party have emerged since Trump’s victory in the 2024 election, the largest of which has named itself the “Just a Bad Dream” Coalition. The Coalition’s leaders describe it as a “bold new direction for the party” and promise the United States’ return to “a blissful era, before we all had the collective bad dream that is Donald Trump.”
Senator Brett Jogglin (D-New Hampshire), the head of the Just a Bad Dream Coalition, discussed the motivations behind forming the coalition at a press conference. “If Trump actually existed, I’d say that what he’s doing is literally not normal,” Jogglin said. “I’d even go so far as to say it could be bad for the country. And because it’s not normal, it’s like a dream. In fact, that’s exactly what this all is. It’s the only explanation. It’s a bad dream that will go away, and we’ll soon wake up in a beautiful Obama-era utopia. One where the wars were sensible, so the news only occasionally had to report on our drone strikes that killed civilians. Those strikes had much kinder intentions behind them, you know.”
The coalition has participated in several “Trump-ridding” activities thus far, although critics have expressed concerns that none of the activities have included proposing legislation or interacting with constituents. One of the coalition’s most publicly visible activities was the “wake-up circle,” in which members stood in formation in front of the Capitol building; one person walked around, shaking everybody else in an attempt to wake them from “the Bad Dream”. The most recent occurrence of the wake-up circle was on February 26, with fifteen Senate Democrats in attendance, whose absence ultimately enabled the passage of a bill mandating a lifetime prison sentence for publicly mentioning the effects of climate change.
“The real problem is the far left,” said loyal Democrat voter Catherine Pollen. “These socialists are spouting dangerous lies about Donald Trump having a physical form, when he is so clearly just a manifestation of my deep guilt for the time I forgot to tip my house cleaner. If I stop thinking about Trump, he’s not real!” Leah Pollen, Catherine’s daughter and another Democratic voter, voiced their frustration with the party. “Not to say Bernie should have won in 2016, but Bernie should have won in 2016,” they said. “I told my mom this, and she just started sending me those ‘reality shifting’ TikTok videos. She believes that stuff! Apparently some Democrats are trying to teleport themselves to a universe where Trump is a bit more polite but still implements the same policies. I just want fucking healthcare, man.”
Less radical members of the coalition have expressed the belief that the world is real, but Donald Trump is not. “If I put my hand out to touch him, he would either disappear forever, or my hand would pass right through him. I’m not saying I’d do that though — violence against those we disagree with is always wrong, even if they’re destroying all of our lives,” said Representative Jack Lorgin (D-California). “This horrible fascist threat to the country is luckily no more than an illusion that 77 million Americans and some of our friends in Congress have fallen for. With that said, I’m excited to work with, respect, and assist them. I’ve already gotten Joe Biden credited on the declaration of surrender we’re going to give to Russia on behalf of Ukraine!”
