Editorial

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Read Me Like One of Your French Books

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I remember the day I was purchased like it was yesterday. I was sitting on a shelf at the store with my siblings, waiting, just waiting …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Please, Just Let Me Live in the Future

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I was born in the wrong generation. Everyone seems to have lost their minds! To let Dogecoin die? To not let Elon Musk into your brain …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

I Give Up — The Next Global Disaster Will Be Too Weird to Predict

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A decade of unprecedentedly unprecedented times, whatever people are calling it, has put me out of business. If you asked me a decade ago where we’d …

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My First Bonfire Wasn’t as Magical as They Said It Would Be

Written by: http://a%20href=#molongui-disabled-linkMarielle%20Lazaro/a

For as long as I’ve resided in this field, I’ve heard the same hangout plans from a new group every day: “Let’s have a bonfire next …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

No, Don’t Buy That Compression Shirt

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I thought I had changed. I thought I had grown. I thought I was no longer the person who would impulse-buy a $200 trench coat to …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse

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Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Grades Inflate, Society Crumbles

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In the storied history of education there has been but one constant: the strong pass and the weak fail. Educators from Socrates to Dennis Prager have …

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How to Always Win Your Fantasy Football League

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It’s a tale as old as time. September rolls around and your friends or colleagues invite you to join their fantasy football league. There’s just one …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Why Can’t I Find a Relationship

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Things were looking up for me this summer. I hit the sweet seven-inch growth spurt every man in his early 20s yearns for, my socially debilitating …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Allowing You to Ride Me for Free Doesn’t Mean I Want Your Sweaty Hands and Feet

Written by: http://a%20href=#molongui-disabled-linkJessica%20Wang/a

Human students of UC San Diego, we have decided it is time for us elevators to rise to the occasion. We opened our doors to kindness, …