Editorial
Dating My Campus Crush Went Wrong?
It all started the first week of school when I went to a “First-Years in Seventh from the Northeast Part of Akron, Ohio” mixer. I saw …
What Are You Gonna Do? Not Use It?
That’s right. It’s me. You know of me, you’ve lamented me, you’ve cursed me, you’ve wept for me, I’m certain of it. Nevertheless, I’m the only …
No, Just Because You Uppercut Me Does Not Mean You’re ‘Punching Up’
Today, one of my dear HUMR 101: Intro to Humor students, who I will call “Jimmy,” came into my office, wound up his fist, and uppercutted …
My ‘Winter Alpha Arc’ Was Found to Just Be Depression
I’ve been on something of a self-improvement journey as of late. It all started when I was doing my daily doomscrolling, and I came across a …
A Call to Pirates and Landlubbers Alike
Ahoy there! This be pirate captain Blondebeard, scourge of the seven seas, with an urgent message for all ye mermaids, mermen, and scallywags of unspecified gender …
Ohio Does NOT Claim JD Vance
Now I don’t usually comment on politics, but something must be said about Senator Vance. In the Midwestern spirit of sharing hotdish ’fore dishing it out, …
This School Puts Us in Boxes
I don’t mean this in a metaphorical way. The email will tell you that you’re being summoned to the “Box Room” at once. When it does, …
I Killed Journalism
I killed it. Yup… it was me. Every time I clicked on a Washington Post article and I was refused entry, I slowly held the pillow …
I Walked from Warren to Muir and Ended up in Tijuana
This campus is huge and incredibly confusing to navigate. I’m a first-year student, and nobody told me just how bad it would be when I was …
It’s Paranormal, Not Parasocial
I have been getting a lot of rude and judgmental comments from the other townspeople that I really don’t appreciate, so I would just like to …