Dylan Towner

ArticlesNationalNews

Iowa Becomes First Woman-Free State

Written by: Dylan Towner

“How can I be a misogynist when I don’t even miss the women?” asked Governor Mannington.Photo by Amit Roth In the six months following the enactment …

Briefs

Rats Unionize

Written by: Dylan Towner

UC San Diego’s rodent population has recently received recognition as an organized union by campus administration. The Lab Rats’ 12-month campaign has garnered them protections against …

ArticlesCampusNews

University Claims ‘The Creature Isn’t Our Problem’

Written by: Dylan Towner

“I spoke to The Creature and I thought he was a really nice guy,” said one UCSD administrator.Photo by Julia Wong Last Monday, UC San Diego …

Briefs

Australia Loses War to Emus Again

Written by: Dylan Towner

The Australian military has reported that their second crusade against the emus has failed. Following their defeat at the hands of the birds in the 1932 …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

The Mobile Ordering System on Campus Is an Unstable Nightmare vs The Triton2Go System Works  Perfectly, You’re Just Being a Baby

Written by: Dylan Towner

Point: The Mobile Ordering System on Campus Is an Unstable Nightmare Like the rest of you folks, I was forced to purchase a campus dining plan. …