Liver of Many Lives
They say eyes are the window to the soul. And much like a house, when you look through those windows into someone’s soul, you might see something you weren’t meant to see. Something you weren’t meant to know. My boss, Derek, has eyes like these. On my first day at my new company, I went through all the classic training, orientation, getting-to-know-you drivel of your average first day at work experience. And then, I met him. Derek. Instantly, as I looked into his eyes, I knew him. Not him, the man he is now, but I knew his soul — his ethereal Self. His soul and mine have met before. I’m sure of it. And it was not a pleasant meeting.
300,000 years ago, Derek killed me with a heavy rock he found in the mud of the jungle, over a small handful of tree nuts. And though our souls have been recycled countless times, I still know the eyes of my killer. Those same eyes now look into me as this man, this beast, “welcomes” me to the “team.”
Here’s how I used this to advance my career.
Shortly after the big corporate welcome luncheon, I cornered Derek. I explained to him that his greed as a Neanderthal, hundreds of thousands of years ago, had brought about my demise. He had the absolute gall to refute my past-lived experiences, saying that my vision was “ridiculous,” and had “no basis in reality,” and that he would be “going to HR immediately.” That’s when I pulled my ace out of my sleeve: the very rock he killed me with.
Oh yes, I had the rock. A sharp, jagged, dagger-esque chunk of obsidian that I had purchased from a kind, honest man on the side of the road who told me he was a wizard that could read my past lives, and had determined this was the thing that had done me in several millennia ago.
This got Derek to change his tone quickly. Maybe seeing the stone sparked his memory, as he very quickly fell silent. He began to tremble, too, and I could tell he was connecting the dots. Did he recognize me? We had been brothers in that life, I think.
He took me to his office. He sat down across from me at his desk. I held the stone steadfastly in my hand, lest he forget what he had done to me.
“What do you want?” he asked me, his voice wavering slightly.
“What do I want?” I replied. “Derek. I want to get even.”
His face went pale. This seemed to shake him even more. Did he sense my intent? Did he think I wanted to do unto him as he had done unto me? I laughed suddenly, which frightened him even more.
“Don’t worry, Derek. I’m not here to kill you.” He looked up, surprised. Those eyes, those once monstrous eyes, now glittered like those of a frightened boy.
“Then… what are you here for?” His voice was a mere whisper.
What is anyone here for? “Money. I want a promotion. And you’re going to give it to me.”
At this point, Derek took a deep breath, seemingly regaining his composure. He agreed that I do indeed deserve a promotion, and a hefty raise, and also that HR need not be contacted, and that in fact I should have his job, effective immediately. He then promptly submitted his resignation and left the building, speaking to nobody.
This just goes to show, dear readers, that every cloud has a silver lining. All you need to do to achieve your dreams is to simply go for it!
