Briefs
UC San Diego Office For Students With Disabilities Under Oversight
The UC San Diego Office for Students with Disabilities (OSD) has asked the UCSD ADA Coordinator to provide oversight after precedented delays in sending out student …
PETA Breaks into Scripps Institute of Oceanography
Recently, activists from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) broke into the Scripps Institute of Oceanography in response to “blatant animal cruelty” in a …
Money Talks
Social media influencer Rich Boye went viral recently with claims that the cash in his wallet had gained the ability to produce human speech, and that …
HDH Replaces Dryers with Pizza Ovens
Last month, HDH announced the emergency closure of every laundry room on campus, providing no further explanation for the decision. This past week, HDH sent out …
CEO Says, ‘Let Them Eat Claims’
CEO Richard Bancroft has made headlines after a controversial speech delivered at a corporate convention last week. In the speech, dedicated to his “dear friend” Brian …
Poetry Slam Gets Physical
The Four Corners Tavern reported several injuries after participants misinterpreted a poetry slam hosted at the establishment. When competitor Zachary Winemouse began his performance of “Diary …
UCSD Students Warned of Glue Incident
Last week, UC San Diego students received Timely Warnings via text, phone call, and loudspeaker after a glue-related event was reported. The incident, officially determined to …
Gen Z Trends Towards Puritanism
A recent poll conducted on Gen Z revealed that Puritanism is once again “in” and “hip with the kids.” Analysts report that an unprecedented 70% of …
Matt Gaetz takes Sabbatical
Matt Gaetz, former-congressman-cum-suspect in a child sexual misconduct case, was recently asked to join the incoming Trump administration as Attorney General, but has since taken himself …
Jacobs School of Engineering Now ‘School of Bioengineering’
Following a donation from Hologic, the UC San Diego Jacobs School of Engineering has announced that effective immediately, they are now to be referred to as …