Briefs

Briefs

Student Sealed Away, Shredded, Thrown Into Ocean

Written by: Katie Campbell

Following a controversial Yu-Gi-Oh! tournament at a San Diego game store, UC San Diego student Keto Saiba was accused of using banned cards in his Exodia …

Briefs

Local Man Buys Clown Shoes,Insists He is “Not A Clown”

Written by: Kaz Nuckowski and Dylan Jaide White

Self-described “human adult man” Robert “Bobo” Honkson has once again denied accusations that he is a clown. Recent evidence submitted to San Diego courts was described …

Briefs

Personal Carbon Electrolyzers May Solve Climate Crisis

Written by: Amit Roth

From the makers of the Veritas 800 Marine 30 lubricant comes Chevron’s Carbon Electrolyzer, a machine able to “cleanly break down” CO2. “We have compacted our …

Briefs

Inedible Arrangements CEO Becomes World’s First Trillionaire

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Inedible Arrangements CEO Honey Dew became the world’s first trillionaire after her flower startup’s stock became the most traded stock in NASDAQ history. The stock’s meteoric …

Briefs

UCSD Offers First Quantitative Sheep Studies Course

Written by: Everett Ririe

This quarter, UC San Diego began offering BAA 1: Quantitative Sheep Studies, a course to educate students on numerical methods for sheep counting. However, after only …

Briefs

Elon Musk’s Baby Name List Leaked

Written by: James Woolley

A recent wave of phishing attacks targeting X users has resulted in hundreds of thousands of mobile devices being compromised. Anti-phishing investigations speculate the hackers’ motivations …

Briefs

Lightning Union to Strike During October Solar Eclipse

Written by: Connor Betterly

Following in the footsteps of the recent SAG-AFTRA and UAW strikes, the United Lightning Bolts announced plans to strike starting on Friday, October 13, a “very …

Briefs

“Alien Sexist” — Kerning Mishap Leads to “UF-aux Pas”

Written by: Maria Dhilla

The National Aliens in Space Administration (NASA) recently declared the existence of sentient alien life located on one of Uranus’ moons. However, the printed announcement was …

Briefs

DeSantis “Lost in Space” After Disastrous Second Campaign Re-Announcement

Written by: Jacob King

Following the backlash from his original presidential campaign announcement, Governor Ron DeSantis reportedly “fell off the face of the Earth,” neither appearing publicly nor reporting to …

Briefs

Drake Performance SurprisesStudents at Sun God Festival

Written by: Connor Betterly

This year’s Sun God festival was filled with long lines and an array of performances from a variety of artists. However, students were most surprised when …