Briefs

Briefs

AUTISM DEEMED ‘TRENDY’

Written by: The MQ

In a recent internet frenzy, users have crowned autism as the new “trendy thing to have.” Followers of this trend have flooded social media sites with …

Briefs

GKN AEROSPACE ANNOUNCES TREBUCHET-POWERED CLEANUP PLAN

Written by: The MQ

GKN Aerospace CEO Oliver Oyle recently held a press conference to address the criticism and controversies the company has faced in the wake of the recent …

Briefs

UCSD CATAN TEAM MAKES A DEBUT IN COMPETITION

Written by: The MQ

Last month, UC San Diego’s inaugural Catan team made their competitive debut at the Anaheim Regional National Pre-Qualifier Semifinal. “Competitive Catan is a mysterious world,” said …

Briefs

PRESIDENT TRUMP EATS IRANIANPEACE DELEGATION

Written by: The MQ

Tragedy struck during the U.S. – Iranian Peace Accords when President Donald J. Trump reportedly unhinged his jaw, and, in one fell swoop, swallowed the entire …

Briefs

Local Band Crystal Belles Amasses Triton Cash Fortune

Written by: Abby Offenhauser

Last month, local band Crystal Belles garnered an animated audience during an on-campus performance at UC San Diego. According to the university, while it has historically …

Briefs

Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028

Written by: David Muñoz

Following the recent release of the controversial — yet popular — addition to the Gulf War Cinematic Universe, the Depart- ment of State revealed that the …

Briefs

BORGmania Sweeps UCSD

Written by: Lilly Ririe

As finals season approaches, a new trend has taken the campus by storm. “There’s just one question on everyone’s mind: to BORG, or not to BORG?” …

Briefs

Emerald Fennell Threatens Literature with New Adaptation

Written by: Claire Cover

Following the release of her polarizing Wuthering Heights adaptation, British director Emerald Fennell has confirmed that another adaptation based on a beloved classic is in the …

Briefs

Pastor Denounces Middle East ‘Christians’

Written by: Cardi ​

During last week’s Thursday service, Episcopal Inadventist Communion of Saints — an American Christian Evangelical church — Pastor-Shepherd Noah Beckett officially denounced “Satan’s last bastion in …

Briefs

Super Mario Brothers Super Protest

Written by: Jules Ausbrooks

In a recent press release, famed plumbing, princess-saving, go-kart racing, and ghost-hunting brothers Mario and Luigi have decided to use their platform to decry the current …