Editorial
Allowing You to Ride Me for Free Doesn’t Mean I Want Your Sweaty Hands and Feet
Human students of UC San Diego, we have decided it is time for us elevators to rise to the occasion. We opened our doors to kindness, …
My Study Abroad Experience Changed My Life and You’re Going to Hear About It Whether You Want to or Not
How was my summer? Oh, just incredible! I lived in Italy for two whole months. Yeah, it was a really formative experience. I was in a …
More Wildfires Are Actually Great for Me
Okay, fine. I admit it. After watching my favorite vacation home go up in flames, there is no denying that climate change is real. Hopefully the …
We Have All Been Afflicted With a Curse
Fellow youths, I bring horrible, world-ending news. Our university — nay, our universe itself has been afflicted with a terrible curse. It is the most vile, …
Life Is Horrible, but I Have a Little Drink
I have been in a constant state of misery since September 23, 2022, after the innocent newness of Fall Quarter ceased to appeal to me and …
Tom Cruise Is the Last Gen X Babygirl
I take my coffee black with salt, carry cash, and drive a manual car. I shook hands with George Lucas once, and Al Pacino made eye …
Professional Sports Have Become Predictable
What’s the deal with sports these days? When I was a kid, there were still new narratives and new agendas being pushed. We had Michael Jordan …
Werewolf Woman: The Invisibility of White Femininity
Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …
My Boyfriend Hates My Sex Playlist
Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. …
People These Days Don’t Know How Hard It Is to Be an Immortal Wizard
Wizards of San Diego, I come to you all with the most horrible problem I have ever faced in my short 200 years of existence. I …
