Annelise McCullough
UCSD Reports First Cases of Dancing Plague Since 1518
“Shake it off,” advised Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Theo Erickson Amid surges of COVID and mounting cases of H5N1, France recently began reporting individuals engaging in “spontaneous …
CEO Says, ‘Let Them Eat Claims’
CEO Richard Bancroft has made headlines after a controversial speech delivered at a corporate convention last week. In the speech, dedicated to his “dear friend” Brian …
A Call to Pirates and Landlubbers Alike
Ahoy there! This be pirate captain Blondebeard, scourge of the seven seas, with an urgent message for all ye mermaids, mermen, and scallywags of unspecified gender …
Police Forbid Hunting and Gathering in Wake of Hurricane
“You think hunting and gathering is bad?” said one police officer. “Some of these sickos are growingtheir own crops!”Photo by Liv Gilbert In the aftermath of …
‘The Astronauts Are Fine,’ Says Boeing
“Day two hundred and seventy-one. Atlas shrugged,” read one astronaut’s logs.Photo by Dylan Schmidt A month after announcing that the Boeing Starliner astronauts will remain in …
I Need Coding Help vs What, Like It’s Hard?
A person’s ability to learn a new language declines after age 12, so why am I, in my early 20s, expected to learn and become fluent …
Dear Emily Queue: Leap Day Edition
Dear Emily Queue, if I see my shadow on Leap Day, will there be 28 more days of February?Of course not! Who do you think you …
One TA Can’t Possibly Grade it All vs. It Builds Character
POINT: One TA Can’t Possibly Grade it All I am writing this message by candlelight — yes, by candlelight, like it’s the 1800s, because I can’t …
Geisel Wormhole Claims Over 1,200 Students, Solving UCSD’s Housing Crisis
“I’ve been getting sucked into my studies like never before,” said one second-year student.Photo by Julia Wong UC San Diego is “still reeling” after Thursday’s “freak …
