CEO Richard Bancroft has made headlines after a controversial speech delivered at a corporate convention last week. In the speech, dedicated to his “dear friend” Brian Thompson, who is “sadly no longer with us,” Bancroft addressed the “hordes of displeased peasants — I mean, the good American people.
“I am very saddened to hear that there are people out there who are struggling with their finances and are unable to balance buying groceries, paying rent, and affording necessities like health insurance. But there is no need to resort to violence against those of us who work the hardest among the US population,” Bancroft said. “In fact, I say that if the people are struggling to afford food to eat, let them eat claims!”
Bancroft’s speech resulted in immediate and “vitriolic” backlash from both the right and left. After a week of what Bancroft called “a modern-day Salem witch hunt,” during which he refused to leave his house and reported deploying multiple bodyguards around his mansion, the press coaxed Bancroft outside to deliver an apology, where he explained that his prior statement was a “tasteless joke.”
In the days after Bancroft’s apology, a guillotine was discovered in the center of Wall Street. When witnesses were questioned about its purpose, one person responded, “Guillotine? What are we, French? This is clearly an All-American-Billionaire-Busting Machine.”