UCSD Reports First Cases of Dancing Plague Since 1518

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Written by: Annelise McCullough

“Shake it off,” advised Chancellor Khosla.
Photo by Theo Erickson

Amid surges of COVID and mounting cases of H5N1, France recently began reporting individuals engaging in “spontaneous and uncontrollable dancing,” bearing similarity to the contagious dancing of 1518 that originated in the same region. Weeks later, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that this “Dancing Plague” is “officially a pandemic.” The announcement was met by general public nonchalance and was quickly overshadowed by New Year’s celebrations. 

The first reported case of the Dancing Plague on U.S. soil came two weeks ago from a student at UC San Diego. “At first I thought he was raising his hand,” explained George John-Ringeaux, a Global Health Studies professor at UCSD. “Next thing I know, he’s in the aisle executing a perfect pirouette.” Within a week, at least 34 more students disrupted classes by getting out of their seats and dancing out the doorways. 

Some students have criticized UCSD administration for its “lackluster” response to the pandemic. After the first dancing incident, the Vice Chancellor of Operations Management and Capital Programs sent out a Required Notification of Potential Exposure, and advised all students to “check to see if they had been exposed” and “follow the instructions for on-campus testing.” 

“It’s clearly just a lazy, shameless re-purposing of the COVID notification email,” said one biology student. “The Dancing Plague doesn’t even have tests developed for it yet!” 

The full scope of the infection was not known until last Thursday, when hundreds of afflicted students danced their way to Library Walk and began a “frenzied” line dance that quickly spread to all onlookers. Chancellor Khosla addressed “parents, community members, and esteemed donors” in a press conference by reaffirming his decision to continue usual campus operations. “UCSD is renowned for its competitive academics and groundbreaking research. As we learned in 2020, shutting down operations hinders the important work done by our university. After much deliberation, we have decided that there is no need to close down the school and cancel classes. We have faith in our students’ ability to keep themselves safe and healthy, since, as we all know, public health is a private responsibility. All we ask is that if you feel the urge to break out into a tap number or a quickstep, you excuse yourself to go outside and come back when you are done. Now, can someone please get those damn kids off my lawn?” 

The student who first brought the Dancing Plague to UCSD, anonymized as “Patient Zero”, claims to not know how they contracted the illness.“My family went to Strasbourg over break,” they commented mid-tango with another afflicted student. “We had heard there were cases there, but we thought we were taking the proper precautions! I mean we didn’t mask or anything, but we stayed away from crowds! And we weren’t even around anyone dancing; I guess they must have been asymptomatic, or something.” 

Patient Zero paused while being dipped by their tango partner. “It’s terrible,” they continued. “Every time I think I’m done, I see someone else breakdancing or improvising an interpretative dance routine, and I’m set off again!” 

The scientific community is currently in disagreement about the plague’s means of infection, with the two competing leading theories being airborne or through visual contact. While some students have begun wearing masks and sunglasses to avoid contagion, the majority of UCSD’s student population has opted to forgo these measures. 

“It’s too inconvenient,” one student said. “Plus, The Dance can’t last more than a week or so. If I get it, it won’t be that bad. Isn’t that what ‘the new normal’ means?”

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