Amit Roth
I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage vs. I Can’t Read the Ransom Note
Point: I’m Holding Your Mental Health Hostage Hello, Alan. I want to play a game. You won’t receive any of these instructions, only a note from …
Susan Bagel: Pickle
The dewy winds of spring have departed, and the waters they brought are remembered only by the ripened fruit. In the garden, my cucumber plants grow …
Pestilence
“These horsemen, they run very fast, faster than the horsemen of any other apocalypse,” Trump said. “Their hooves — they go clip clop clip clop.”Photo by …
Stable Diffusion Kills Last Horse
A sequel Umamusume game will reportedly be based on dogfighting.Photo by Amit Roth L ast night, the World Wild- life Fund (WWF) announced that the last …
Susan Bagel: Cinnamon Rolls
Cinnamon rolls are a time- consuming endeavor — one that requires a certain steeling of the soul. Nana Bagel reminded me of this time and time …
How to Have a Hot Girl Hanukkah
As an advance warning, this holiday guide will end with boiling yourself in oil. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! I haven’t introduced the …
Facebook’s Metaverse Ported to the Collective Unconscious
“I tried to watch ‘The Social Network’ last week, and they deleted my occipital lobe,” said one user.Photo by Amit Roth Meta’s Metaverse, formerly known as …
Billboards in Silicon Valley ‘Go Rogue’
“Is this like a weird porn thing?” asked one concerned driver.Photo by Amit Roth The high-tech industry, quartered in California’s Silicon Valley, continues to apply AI …
Zoom Workplace Solves Employee Work-Life Synergy
When asked for comment, many corporate executives were found unresponsive with cameras off.Photo by Justin Xu This October, Zoom Communications, Inc. plans to add “business-forward” tools …
Chemistry Department to Implement Official ‘Weeder Course’
“This is not what I thought the class was going to teach,” said one stoner.Photo by Amit Roth In an effort to “weed out the weak,” …
