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As an advance warning, this holiday guide will end with boiling yourself in oil. But let’s not get too ahead of ourselves! I haven’t introduced the holiday fit yet. This year, I’ll be wearing my gothic, candelabra-inspired skirt (Etsy link in bio) and fluted shamash tube top. Olive oil will have a huge influence on the color palette this year — yellow-greens are finally back after a season of chartreuses. Those tapped-in on the ins this year will know that Demure December is also the time for flashy lightcore attitudes, decor, and hobbies. Even though Hanukkah ranks as a personal fourth favorite among Jewish holidays, you can still follow these steps closely to be the most desired holiday guest!
One: reject rigid categorizations! Levivot are best fried separate instead of as one big tatery sheet. Individualcore is super in right now — there are lots of wardrobes on Insta for references. To last you the whole eight-day holiday season, vary your outfits and accessories by the day or even hour to never lose that non-conformist mystique.
Two: aestheticize and aestheticize hard! Hanukkah is one of our most prop-heavy holidays, which is why it’s the most recognized in the mainstream. What are these if not the building blocks for the perfect holiday dark academia coquette coastal cowgirl blend? A dreidel here, an oil-fried pastry there…and don’t forget a Squishmallow hanukkiah that you can update with nightly candles. When you eventually host one of the nights of Hanukkah at your place, show that you’ve been living the comfycore holiday lifestyle without looking like you tried too hard to decorate for the occasion. Even better, you can reuse this decor in about five years, once the style has become nostalgiacore. Remember to read up on my hosting etiquette guide for bombastic modesty tips as well as easy girl dinner side entrees!
And finally, three: oil tans! In the spirit of Hanukkah, revel in an olive glow with an oil-assisted tanning bed session! This can be done either in-studio or at home with the right setup (Autodesk link in bio) and should last you through Christmas. This winter tan is the perfect way to signal you’re still up for getting together and partaying…even after the autumn extension period of Hot Girl Summer has ended. Socialcore is especially sought after in a multi-day chagigah such as Hanukkah (though keep this in mind for Passover as well!) so stay approachable!
I expect to see you all looking majestic under my hashtag on December 14. Goodbye, and remember to always stay true to you!
Amit is a cog in this machine. But doesn't everything run on optic cables or something?
