Dating My Campus Crush Went Wrong?

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Written by: Elizabeth Becker

By Stacie Cara
Social Media Sleuth

It all started the first week of school when I went to a “First-Years in Seventh from the Northeast Part of Akron, Ohio” mixer. I saw him from across the room, and a friend of my roommate told me his name was Cooper, but he went by “Coop.” So hot! Within 15 minutes of getting his last name, I knew his childhood dog’s name, his mom’s past two jobs, and his social security number.

I would see him on campus Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for two precious seconds while he zoomed by on his electric scooter, his hair flowing in the wind, helmet-free. I would rubber-neck just for a chance to see him, my Coop! Does he know my name? Of course not! I don’t want to come across as interested in him — that would be so weird!

It wasn’t until Wednesday two weeks ago that I saw him for the first time since winter break. He crashed into me! Yay! He didn’t say sorry, but I got his snap, so who’s the real winner here? We currently have a six-day Snap streak. He keeps playing hard to get by taking 19 hours to respond and letting me ask all the questions. I know he must be obsessed with me!

He finally asked me if I wanted to “come over and chill” last night at 11:30, so I busted out the wax strips, Ubered to his off-campus apartment, and quietly made my way up his stairs because his “roommate was sleeping.”

That was when the rose-colored glasses started to come off. He opened the door shirtless, and the first word that comes to mind to describe this boy is “greasy.” Like, dude was 5’8″ with Hokas on. I guess the scooter was giving him the appearance of a D1 Basketball player. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. I myself am 5 foot, but I want that Jacob Elordi height difference.

So he takes me to his bedroom, which like, I thought we were just going to cuddle and watch Cars on the couch, but whatever. He turns on Modern Family on full blast, even though his roommate is supposedly sleeping in the next room. Bro proceeds to sit me in his lap and tries to make out with me like a middle school boy. And I just know his major is business or econ or whatever, because a bio major would never confuse my mouth and my nose like that.

He stops for a second, thank God! And then he says, “I don’t have a condom, but you have money for Plan B, right?”

It was at this point I knew that this was not the fairy-tale love story I’d had in mind when we were vaguely Snapping each other. I left. I got out of there. Turns out he was just looking for a hookup. Never would have known.

But wait until I tell you about this new guy I’m obsessed with! I see him every Tuesday and Thursday on his bike, and I just know he’s the one!

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