Local
Local Father Just Trying to Balance White Collar Crime, Being There for Son
Local single father Robert “Bob” Barron, senior financial advisor at A/B Investments, confided to a friend last week over lunch that he was struggling to handle …
Local Recruiter Finds Straight White Candidate “Just More Approachable”
Christian Witten, the managing director of New Breath Consultants, announced Monday that they’ve hired a new creative liaison, Daisy Mitchell, who they are certain will “fit …
Area Man Asked to Watch Area Woman’s Stuff, Leaves
Intensely clutching a backpack to her chest, area student Angie Coronado seemed to be in a state of distress while telling reporters that last Friday that …
Area Man Excited to M.C. This Year’s Geometry Convention
The 2017 Convention of Geometry Enthusiasts will have its main festivities hosted by Area Man, a popular children’s educator who specializes in teaching how to define …
Christmas Miracle to Come in Form of Three-Day Auto Sale
Last Thursday morning, hundreds of auto dealership managers were visited by angels announcing the Lord’s plan that a 2016 Christmas Miracle will occur in the form …
Amish Community Saddened and Very Confused by Cyberbullying Epidemic
Surprising new advocates in the fight against cyberbullying have emerged in recent weeks: the Amish. Candle shops and haberdasheries alike have been abuzz with the news …
Football Fan Thinks 200-Pound Human Miracle of Athleticism “Just Standing There”
Markus Dohle was already moving on to his second beer in the first quarter when he remarked that the 237-pound, six foot three “godsend of athleticism” …
U.S. Prison Guards Negligent, Panopticon-Opticon Built to Watch Guards
In a recent study of United States prisons, 83 percent of prison guards were found to be not watching prisoners for a majority of their shifts. …
Local High School Replaces Free Response Essays with New Improv Writing Curriculum
Wooddard Poe High School, a private high school in San Diego County, has just released their revised 2017–2018 English curriculum, which now features a new focus …
Local Man Almost Gets Job, Dog in Suit Hired Instead
Local man Terry Chien was interviewing for the position of Account Manager at DoorStops International when he was passed over in favor of a golden retriever …
