Sage Cristal
UCSD Student in DEI Lecture Looks Forward to Making Casually Racist Comment
Magdalin “immediately regretted” making attendance mandatory.Photo by Jack Yang Early this morning a group of UCSD students contacted university officials with concerns that a fellow classmate …
UCSD to Build Online Security System With Money Gained from Facebook Partnership
UCSD to Build Online Security System With Money Gained from Facebook Partnership Representatives from the UCSD Information Technology Services announced last Friday their plans to improve …
Scrabble Champion Wins Tournament Playing “Boob” for 24 Points
Scrabble Champion Wins Tournament Playing “Boob” for 24 Points In an unexpected turn of events, Scrabble Master Jenny Newman became the new North American Scrabble Champion …
Area Woman Hauls Ass to Meet FitBit Step Goal
According to reports, O’Malley keeps all the donkeys in a pit affectionately known as her “ass hole.”Photo by Jack Yang Area woman Zigi O’Malley held a …
Local Gamer Returns to Neglected Minecraft Server to Find Ongoing Race War
“It’s all about the framing,” said one pillager analyst on the above image. “What you don’t see here is the years and years of marginalization.”Photo by …
Study Finds Microwave in Break Room Dripping in Chili
Study Finds Microwave in Break Room Dripping in Chili Early this morning the communal microwave in the Scripps Medical Laboratory break room was found to be …
Bernie Sanders Expected to be Crucified and Resurrected in First Democratic Primary Debate
After three days, polling showed that Bernie Sanders’ popularity rose again.Photo by Jessica Ma As the first Democratic primary debate of the 2020 election season approaches, …
Area Man Holds Unique Opinion on Abortion That Deserves to be Heard
“I even had to explain to the women what ‘man-splaining’ was,” said “Women’s Advocate” Charlie Miller. Photo by Stephen Lightfoot In response to the recent debate …
Get Out More
Thanks for looking up from your smartphone and at something without a screen! The new generation of humans have become slaves to their phones, spending all …
animals that have better teeth than me
The animal kingdom is full of natural wonders, but the natural wonder that makes the least amount of sense is how fish and birds — and …
