UCSD Student in DEI Lecture Looks Forward to Making Casually Racist Comment


Written by: Sage Cristal

Magdalin “immediately regretted” making attendance mandatory.
Photo by Jack Yang

Early this morning a group of UCSD students contacted university officials with concerns that a fellow classmate was preparing to make a string of racist comments in response to their professor’s lecture on racial bias. The student in question, third-year Bryn Hannigan, was sitting in the front row of an EDS 111 lecture discussing a question posed by the instructor of the course, Professor Barnes Magdalin, on the existence of reverse racism.

One of the students who contacted university officials, third-year Jamie Cravik, told reporters, “Bryn usually has something to say about every lecture topic, and usually those things are composed of microaggressions and blatantly prejudiced opinions. Just last Thursday Bryn tried to make the argument that skin color was a determining factor of IQ, and then said that his IQ was equivalent to Einstein’s because they’re both white. Not one person in lecture believed Bryn had an IQ over 120.”

University officials revealed to reporters that this was not the first time they received a complaint about Hannigan’s behavior in classes. An anonymous source at the Office of Student Conduct shared Hannigan’s file with reporters. The file revealed that Hannigan has a history of making classmates uncomfortable, often under the guise of “playing devil’s advocate.” Hannigan’s file also showed that rather than being reprimanded by university officials for their problematic comments, Hannigan and the Office of Student Conduct worked out a deal that for every complaint received about Hannigan, he would have to take another DEI course. As of now, Hannigan has taken eight DEI courses.

Cravik continued telling reporters, “I knew he was trouble ever since the first day of class when he walked into lecture wearing his Minecraft Creeper hoodie and Attack on Titan backpack. When the professor told us the class was going to be about the nonexistence of reverse racism, Bryn raised his hand and said that he experienced reverse racism because he, as a white person, had been treated poorly because of his Irish background. Immediately a bunch of hands shot up to respond to Bryn, and now you can expect that response every time Bryn says something in class.”

When reached for comment, Hannigan told reporters, “I understand that I have a reputation for triggering snowflakes, but it’s my first amendment right to share my knowledge and wisdom with my classmates. Have I gotten in trouble for what I have said? Sure. Do I look forward to speaking in class? Yes. Is it because my only friends are the ones in my League of Legends group? Absolutely. But I think eventually my classmates will find that I speak the truth, and then they will realize that these DEI courses are for beta cucks and SJWs who would rather have friends than be edgy. It’s ridiculous that I even have to learn about this social justice BS. I know plenty of gay people. Or at least, we call each other gay.”

The Office of Student Conduct said in a statement to the press that they do not support Hannigan’s comments, and that they hope Hannigan will learn to be a more tolerant person in their next DEI course.

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Sage Cristal is the woman of your dreams. She sings, she dances, and has a WWE Championship Replica Title Belt. She is currently training to be the next American Ninja Warrior.

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