Daniel Clinton
UCSD Opens First On-Campus Medical Marijuana Dispensary
In an effort to raise profits and “student morale,” UCSD recently announced its decision to add a medical marijuana section to John’s Market and rename it …
Walmart to Offer Customers 50 Percent Off During an Active Shooting
After facing stagnating sale numbers during active shootings, Walmart has started a new policy that offers customers a 50 percent discount during any in-store shooting. This …
Local College Student Concerned About Politics, Does Nothing About It
Greg Alaffia, a local 20-something college student, is concerned about current geopolitical affairs, but has no real plans to do anything about it. Alaffia has been …
Local Woman Saves Trash for Art Project She Will Use “Later”
Local woman Sarah Plehra was spotted Saturday picking up some trash. She claims she is “going to be able to use it in an art project.” …
Research Shows Your Childhood Bullies Were Right
New research released by the Psychological and Brain Science department at SDSU has revealed that your childhood bullies were right. The study conducted by Alex Bullebak …
UCSD Ranked Second Among Universities that Look Like a Shoe From Aerial View
US News has ranked UCSD second among universities that look like a shoe if viewed from a helicopter. This continues UCSD’s legacy of receiving high rankings …
Editorial: Hey, Hey! Wait for Me to Leave Class before You Enter, Asshole
I understand that our time on this earth is finite. And I understand that you want to maximize your time in your plane of mortal existence. …
Local Professor Writes Final Drunk, Only Student Who Passed Was Also Drunk
Only one student, Edward Mozkortuta, was able to obtain a passing score on a final written by UCSD Professor Mark Pijan. Students who took the final …
Local Snitch Did Not Get Stitches, Bled Out on the Floor
Early Friday night, Max Hildako, 26, was found unconscious in his San Diego apartment. Hildako was pronounced dead at the scene at 8:03 p.m. by paramedics. …
Trump Paints White House Green for Some Fucking Reason
Trump announced on Wednesday through Twitter that he was going to paint the White House green. The President did not provide any reason except the statement …
