Local woman Sarah Plehra was spotted Saturday picking up some trash. She claims she is “going to be able to use it in an art project.” Her husband Mike Schoon released a conflicting statement accusing Plehra of lying, saying, “She always does this. She picks up some junk that sits in our garage for three years and then gets thrown away.”
These accusations came after a bad month for Plehra and Schoon. Schoon accidentally called Plehra by their cat’s name during sex, leaving their relationship on thin ice. Schoon is now no longer allowed to have the cat sleep on their bed at night. Plehra and Schoon’s cat, Tiger, has been caught in the crossfire as well and has had her wet food downgraded to dry food.
“Ok, well, maybe I wouldn’t need to hold on to my dream of being an artist if I was finding some sort of fulfillment in other aspects of my life,” responded Plehra during a press conference Saturday night. The back and forth has lead to a stalemate between the two parties. Just as the media began to lose interest in the story, however, Tiger held a surprise conference in which she allowed members of the press to pet her extremely soft fur. The initial reactions from the press were various forms of “Awwwwww.”