ArticlesCampusPolitics

Local College Student Concerned About Politics, Does Nothing About It

Written by: Mishelle Arakelian and Daniel Clinton

“I mean, what’s one vote really going to do?” Alaffia asked rhetorically.
Photo by: MQ Trophy Husband

Greg Alaffia, a local 20-something college student, is concerned about current geopolitical affairs, but has no real plans to do anything about it. Alaffia has been heard by several friends condemning “what’s been going down in Washington” and declaring that “we should drain the swamp; those mosquitoes are running rampant all over Seattle.”

During his freshman year of college, Alaffia experienced a political awakening after watching Schoolhouse Rock’s educational video “I’m Just a Bill.” After dipping his toe into the water of current affairs, Alaffia began to regularly watch the monologues of late-night talk show hosts, something he reportedly considered to be a suitable replacement for what he referred to as “corporate establishment news media.”

Alaffia further matured his political palette by showing surface-level support for any politician that reminded him of a character from “The West Wing,” especially if they resemble Rob Lowe. He also made sure to share the petitions created by these Rob Lowe-ish politicians to social media, encouraging his friends to sign them even if he does not know what they are about. One anonymous friend cited an instance where Alaffia shared a petition calling for “the people” to “rise up,” which further reading revealed to be a petition to abolish the physical act of sitting.

Concerned over privacy after seeing a GIF of Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg drinking a glass of water, Alaffia attempted to delete all information about himself from the Internet. Conveniently for reporters, local unpaid newspaper intern Tiffany Sudenzki was able to obtain pieces of Alaffia’s profile through Tinder, which Sudenzki called “a phone application for lonely yet politically-minded college students.”

The description box of Alaffia’s Tinder profile lent valuable insight on the complex machinery of Alaffia’s blossoming political awareness. The first line read simply that he is “a #wokefeminist and over six-feet-tall.” The rest of the profile indicated that Alaffia is excited for the midterm elections this coming fall. This was determined to be the context for a gallery of photos of Alaffia with his bulk supply of “I voted” stickers, despite his own expressed reluctance to register to vote because “that’s what the man wants you to do.”

Sudenzki eventually tracked down Alaffia’s contact information and arranged to meet him for coffee at his preferred location of Joe’s Bean. After a curt introduction and a reportedly weak handshake, Alaffia went on a tangent about the growing service sector, the “fluidity of labor in a political economy,” and the “modern abhorrence of workers’ rights.” When Sudenzki pressed for details or further explanations, Alaffia simply continued to recite news article headlines from memory, while pausing momentarily to sip his non-Fairtrade black coffee.

Social/Publicity Chair at The MQ

Mishelle Arakelian is a third-year Political Science major and Law and Society minor. One time she rejected an internship with the Obamas due to a scheduling conflict.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *