Volume 25 Issue 1


Local Grandmother Struggles to Give Away the Most Food

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

San Diego Grandmother Ruth Klein reported difficulty upholding her usual habit of giving plenty of food to the neighborhood youth as trick-or-treaters roamed the neighborhood this …

Center SpreadFeatures

The MQ’s Guide to Getting Fit

Written by: The MQ


UC Berkeley Bans “The Great British Baking Show” for “Overly Friendly” Competition

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky and Rhys Shriver

UC Berkeley administration banned the public viewing or endorsement of the BBC television series “The Great British Baking Show” a few weeks into the new fall …


Trump’s New Supreme Court Pick Looks Suspiciously Like Trump with a Fake Mustache

Written by: Elizabeth Niculescu

President Trump announced his nominee to fill Justice Kennedy’s Supreme Court vacancy on Monday. Trump’s nomination follows the President’s decision to drop Brett Kavanaugh as the …


21-Year-Old Finally Old Enough to Gamble and Drink His Life Away

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot and Sage Cristal

UCSD student and official adult Darren Costapolis turned 21 last Monday and celebrated with a party full of legal drinking, gambling, and drugs that only a …


Student Unable to Afford Salt, Uses Chip Dust Instead

Written by: Pilan Scruggs

With the start of a new academic year, students are publicizing various resolutions. Third-year economics major Antony Brown shared a couple of his in a particularly …


First-Year Student Buys Surfboard, Definitely Ready for College Now

Written by: Hannah Lykins

First-year Muir College student Billy Standall decided to purchase a surfboard approximately one-hour after moving-in, in an effort to “properly” prepare himself for his time as …

Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons You Should be Running

Written by: The MQ

1. You saw the Corgi Man out of the corner of your eye
2. You’re about to be the most dangerous game
3. You lost track of the person you were stalking
4. You have the pumped-up kicks and he has a gun
5. You woke up upright on a turned-on treadmill
6. Someone tried flirting with you and you’re terrified of intimacy
7. You heard the ice cream truck’s jingle
8. You just realized the final started an hour ago
9. What else are you going to do, fight the bear?
10. There aren’t enough women in politics


Local Father Completes IKEA Desk, Now a Furniture Crafting Celebrity

Written by: Dan Kaliblotzky

Local father and amateur Swede Joshua Nickelson completed “MICKE,” a black desk from IKEA, for his daughter’s college apartment last week. So impressed in his own …

Top Ten

Top Ten Things You Will Have to Do for Yourself Now That You’re Not Living with Your Parents

Written by: The MQ

1. Ask yourself when you will be getting a significant other
2. Learn to cook an egg without burning down your house this time
3. Miss your own soccer games
4. Desperately seek your own approval
5. Catch yourself … you know
6. Find humor in Minion memes
7. Complain about changing the thermostat
8. Neglect calling yourself every day
9. Set your own parental controls on your computer
10. Continue the tradition of starting shit with your aunt