Stephen Lightfoot

ArticlesCampusNews

Local Senior Procrastinates Having Senioritis

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Murphy reported that his nervous system was working just fine because he is “so nervous all time.”Photo by Sharon Roth During a recent intervention staged by his …

BriefsNintendo PowerPlayer's PulseSpecial Issue

Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty?

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Should Guiseppe Mario be in jail? Is he innocent or guilty? While we’re sure that’s a question that’s on a lot of peoples’ minds, it’s Nintendo …

ArticlesNintendo PowerSpecial IssueSystem Update: The State of Gaming

Meet the Gamer that “Fucking Despises” Gamers

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

For the first time in 15 years, Nintendo Power sat down with James Laynor, a former Nintendo World Champion and avid gamer to this day! We discussed the changes in gaming culture, and his excitement for some upcoming games on Nintendo Switch!

ArticlesNewsPolitics

Kamala Harris Under Fire for Staring at Joe Biden, Tapping Watch, and Sighing

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

White House staff reported seeing Vice President Harris writing “President Kamala Harris” over and over again on a legal pad.Photo by Maria Dhilla Despite being in office …

Briefs

Mcdonald’s to Serve Carbonated Eggnog

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Mcdonald’s to Serve Carbonated Eggnog In an unexpected move that both horrified and confused consumers nationwide, McDonald’s has announced that they will be serving carbonated eggnog …

ArticlesLocalNews

Christmas Cancelled After Unmitigated Spread of COVID-19 in Santa’s Workshop

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Santa was heard saying, “On Dasher, on Dancer, on Coughy, on Wheezy! On Comet, and Cupid, Fatigue, and Diseasey!”Photo by Sharon Roth As the end of the …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Even I, A Poli Sci Major, Have No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

By Jeremy Rossi Fourth-year Poli Sci Student Oftentimes my friends come to me for my hot takes on current events. And who could blame them? As …

ArticlesCampusNews

Local CS Student Experiences Immense Relaxation Following Stress Integer Overflow

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

“Yes, you may have mastered C and C++, but can you see beyond the void?” asked Coren.Photo by Jack Yang After laying in a fetal position, crying, …

ArticlesOpinionPoint - Counter Point

I’m Just So Tired About the State of America… vs. Nothing a Bit of Retail Therapy Won’t Fix!

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Point: I’m Just So Tired About the State of America… It seems like this year keeps getting worse and worse. I feel like I’ve never been …

Briefs

Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme

Written by: Stephen Lightfoot

Local Graduate Surprised High School Classmate Isn’t Involved In Pyramid Scheme In what has been described as “quite pleasant surprise,” UC San Diego graduate Kendrick Nolan …