White House staff reported seeing Vice President Harris writing “President Kamala Harris” over and over again on a legal pad.
Photo by Maria Dhilla
Despite being in office for less than a month, scandal has already befallen the Biden administration. On February 1, Vice President Kamala Harris was reportedly caught watching President Biden from a close, yet inconspicuous distance while tapping her foot, poking her watch to ensure it still worked, and sighing in an exasperated manner. Vice President Harris was also heard in a separate incident muttering, “Come on, hurry up already!” under her breath, much to the ire of White House staffers. Vice President Harris’ actions have caused condemnation and disapproval outside of the White House, particularly from Republican members of Congress who have been vocal in their criticism. “I think that Vice President Harris’s actions are despicable,” said Senator Ted Cruz. “To not only seemingly wish that the President would hurry up and die, but to do so within a month of assuming office is downright heinous. We had four perfectly scandal-free years under President Trump – so much so that I’d almost forgotten what a real political controversy looked like.”
“Not many of my colleagues are gonna say it publicly, but I understand her sentiments,” said one prominent Cabinet member, who wished to remain anonymous.
“I mean, Joe Biden is the oldest ever President of the United States, so someone who’s younger like Harris may feel like they’re more deserving of the spot. Plus, policy-wise, Biden and Harris aren’t too different. But the kicker is that Harris had to drop out before even making it to the primaries. I’m sure that there must be some sort of bitterness there.” The anonymous Cabinet member took a minute to pause, staring blankly into the distance, then spoke again at breakneck speed with an Indiana accent that seemed to grow thicker by the second: “I mean, hypothetically, if I ran to be the Democratic nominee for president, made it into the primaries, and then I was told that I had to drop out and unite around the guy who, at the time, had only won South frickin’ Carolina because we had to block Bernie Sanders from clinching the Democratic nomination and bringing about some socially progressive policies, I’d be pretty peeved too. But of course, this is all hypothetical.”
Vice President Harris was quick to respond to allegations that she was waiting for Biden’s demise in a press statement on February 2. “I’m well aware of how my actions may seem to a third-party, but the general public needs to know that I harbor no ill-will against the president of the United States. I accepted Biden’s offer to be his running mate because I knew that together we could bring real change to America. And I intend to continue doing just that, in spite of the attacks on my character and the president’s age. And just so we’re clear – when Joe Biden decides to kick the bucket, I’ll happily step up. But right now, it’s not like I have another choice.”