Farhad Taraporevala

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‘Hot Debate’ Engulfs National Collegiate Curling Scene

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala and Sylvia Terry

“They’re just too hot,” said Vegen. “We don’t stand a chance!”Photo by Destiny Friday Following their meteoric rise to become NCAA champions, the UC San Diego …

ArticlesNewsSports

NFL Declares Hundred-Year Study on Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“My head hurts,” said one player.Photo by Amit Roth Last week, National Football League Commissioner Roger Goodell announced a new initiative aimed at understanding the long-term …

Briefs

UCSD to Require New Sunset Enjoyment Class

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Yesterday, the Dean of Undergraduate Education announced that all UC San Diego students are required to take a new class, SIO 154: Sunsetology. “Recently I’ve noticed …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Abolishes Thanksgiving Break

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“If Ben Franklin had gotten his way, we would be eating the national bird right now,” said student Reginald Archibald.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At a press …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD Announces Inter-College Competition

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“This is the first time I’ve seen Chancellor Khosla on campus,” said one student. “What a hunk!”Photo by Ezra Bihis This past Thursday, UC San Diego …

ArticlesLocalNews

Marines Vow to ‘Do Better,’ Apologize to San Diego Community

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“Don’t worry, I’m not just teaching the kids the alphabet,” said Sergeant Major Major. “They’re also learning how to liberate oil.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow Last Wednesday, …

Briefs

Sports Fan Hits Record Setting Parlay

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

When Shohei Ohtani created the 50/50 club on September 19, sports better Lassie Molah celebrated the historic achievement for more than one reason, as it completed …

ArticlesNationalNewsPolitics

Trump Solves Twelfth Major Crisis of the Week

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“Crisis is my middle name. My name is Donald Crisis Trump,” said Donald Crisis Trump.Photo by Liv Gilbert On September 22, Donald Trump held his twelfth …

Briefs

US To Be Joined by the UK in Celebrating Independence Day

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak surprised many when he announced that the United Kingdom’s general election would be held earlier than expected, on July 4. “I called …

ArticlesNationalNews

Tennessee Students to Start Concealed Carrying

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“I knew violent video games would come in handy one day,” said one student.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Just five days after Governor Rick Les Stu Pidity …