Farhad Taraporevala

Briefs

Ticketmaster CEO to Open New Company: Masterticket

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Last week, millions of Swifties experienced “several bear attacks” as they attempted to buy tickets for Taylor Swift’s upcoming tour, Eras. As a result of the …

ArticlesHolidaysNews

Scientists Discover Long-Lost Thanksgiving Music

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“I’m so glad I have something to play loudly during dinner so I don’t have to talk to my family,” said Thanksgiving music enthusiast Davide Strallman.Photo …

ArticlesCampusNews

UCSD to Sell Triton2Go Boxes as Christmas Presents for Future Biologists

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“When they said UCSD had a weird culture, this is not what I thought they meant,” said Wheatthins.Photo by Romella Sagatelian Last week, HDH announced that …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Competitive Eating Is Good for the Economy

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I am an American hero. I am the one who keeps local businesses afloat during COVID-19, who provides the money to put kids through school, who …

Briefs

Boris Johnson Reelected as U.K.’s Next Prime Minister, Resigns

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Former Prime Minister Liz Truss recently resigned after causing the current economic crises facing the U.K. and prompting the value of the pound to plummet. In …

Online Exclusives

Newton’s Long-lost Fourth Law Revolutionizes Physics

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Last Saturday, a janitor was cleaning out a closet and stumbled into a hidden chamber at Trinity College in Cambridge, England. Inside the chamber was an …

Online Exclusives

UCSD to Remove All Grass on Campus for the Construction of Ninth College

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As the construction of its Eighth College nears completion, UC San Diego’s administration has announced a plan for the university’s ninth college, Ninth College. “We needed …

ArticlesNewsTech

Mercedes Launches New Brake Line Subscription Service

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“And I thought my car was crazy for making me pay for a gas subscription,” said Shapoor Laliwalla.Photo by Sharon Roth Last Thursday, Mercedes-Benz announced a …

Briefs

Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail

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Fantasy Football Punishment Ends With Three in Jail Every September, millions of people participate in fantasy football. For some, the joy comes from drafting their favorite …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Triangle-cut Pizza: The Story of Success Taken Away

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I had my first slice of pizza when I was two years old. My grandmother took me to a place in Brooklyn on the corner of …