Farhad Taraporevala
UCSD Abolishes Thanksgiving Break
“If Ben Franklin had gotten his way, we would be eating the national bird right now,” said student Reginald Archibald.Photo by Jordan Whitlow At a press …
UCSD Announces Inter-College Competition
“This is the first time I’ve seen Chancellor Khosla on campus,” said one student. “What a hunk!”Photo by Ezra Bihis This past Thursday, UC San Diego …
Marines Vow to ‘Do Better,’ Apologize to San Diego Community
“Don’t worry, I’m not just teaching the kids the alphabet,” said Sergeant Major Major. “They’re also learning how to liberate oil.”Photo by Jordan Whitlow Last Wednesday, …
Sports Fan Hits Record Setting Parlay
When Shohei Ohtani created the 50/50 club on September 19, sports better Lassie Molah celebrated the historic achievement for more than one reason, as it completed …
Trump Solves Twelfth Major Crisis of the Week
“Crisis is my middle name. My name is Donald Crisis Trump,” said Donald Crisis Trump.Photo by Liv Gilbert On September 22, Donald Trump held his twelfth …
US To Be Joined by the UK in Celebrating Independence Day
Prime Minister Rishi Sunak surprised many when he announced that the United Kingdom’s general election would be held earlier than expected, on July 4. “I called …
Tennessee Students to Start Concealed Carrying
“I knew violent video games would come in handy one day,” said one student.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Just five days after Governor Rick Les Stu Pidity …
Biden Delivers Unique State of the Union
In order to draw viewers into watching his State of the Union Address, President Biden introduced several changes to the way he delivered the speech. To …
Amazon and Boeing Announce Joint Microtransit Venture
“Still beats flying with United,” said Ahsoak Ingwethi.Photo by Farhad Taraporevala Jeff Bezos was flown to the stage by three drones to announce his latest venture, …
UCSD Announces Nocturnal Enrollment
Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced Nocturnal Enrollment, UC San Diego’s latest plan to increase enrollment. This new program, set to begin during the 2024–2025 academic year, will …
