Prime Minister Rishi Sunak surprised many when he announced that the United Kingdom’s general election would be held earlier than expected, on July 4. “I called the elections early this year because I always used to dread July 4,” explained Sunak. “Those damn Yanks love rubbing it in that we lost a war, with their flashy fireworks and throwing tea in harbors. This year I’ll finally get my revenge, and will be celebrating my re-election while drinking tea from a cup, where it belongs.”
In a recent poll from POLITICO, Sunak’s Conservative Party was polling second to the Labour Party. “I think it’s rather fitting that Rishi chose July 4 for the election with so many people already celebrating independence,” said London resident Loris Dickens. “This year we’ll finally be able to celebrate our independence from him and the rest of his horrible party. I’ll be celebrating by throwing Rishi into the Thames, and I invite anyone else interested to join me with a politician of their choice.”
