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Running the Numbers

Written by: The MQ

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‘Great Frog’ Spawns ‘Mist-erious’ Community Among Literature Students

Written by: Beth Becker

“It whispers to me when no-one is around,” said Leslie.Photo by Janice Kim Following the start of the rainy season, an ancient water deity revealed itself …

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The MQ’s Self-Help Book

Written by: The MQ

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UCSD Mandates ‘Severance Procedure’ for All Students

Written by: Erica Rosslee

“They say you shouldn’t dream of schoolwork, now I don’t live it either,” said Scott.Photo by Dylan Schmidt In light of current events, UC San Diego …

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Early Spring Horoscopes

Written by: The MQ

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Luka Dončić Finds Love on First Date with Lebron James

Written by: Austin Choy

“A fifth ring for you, Luka,” said James.Photo by Liv Gilbert National Basketball Association (NBA) fans were shocked by a trade that is predicted to impact …

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State to Become Church

Written by: Victoria Ta

“What if thy neighbor is a Democrat?” asked Alito.Photo by Ezra Bihis Following a 233-year-long separation, Church and State reunited in the US Department of Justice …

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Mexico Renames Mall of America

Written by: Farhad Taraporevala

“This is easily the hardest class I’ve ever taken,” said one International Business major.Photo by Liv Gilbert Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum announced that Mexico will be …

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Yellowface Returns to Hollywood

Written by: Justin Xu

Zwick insists, Korean or not, that his movies have Seoul.Photo by Janice Kim Last week, Hollywood director Don Zwick reignited controversy over his latest film, a …

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Democrats Deny Existence of Trump

Written by: Liv Gilbert

“It’s pretty crazy that we don’t have a President, but I guess we’ll make do,” said one Democrat.Photo by Dylan Schmidt With Republicans controlling all branches …