David Muñoz
Research Department Observes Theoretical Beach
“So this is what those beach episodes in anime were about?” said one weebish researcher.Photo by Amit Roth I n a shocking discovery made by “particularly …
ICE Unveils New ‘Freeze Ray’
“Shooting dogs has never been more cool!” gushed Kristi Noem.Photo by Amit Roth In a “chilling” development, Immigration Customs En- forcement (ICE) Director Todd Lyons and …
Second Iran War Scheduled for Q4 2028
Following the recent release of the controversial — yet popular — addition to the Gulf War Cinematic Universe, the Depart- ment of State revealed that the …
Pride Month To Be Sponsored by Raytheon
Defense contractor RTX, better known by its former name Raytheon, released a statement affirming its support for the “LGB” community. In a “watershed” decision signaling “their …
UCSD Pisser Completely Soaks My Bedsheets!
Well, he got me, guys. What was supposed to be a very light and chill night hanging with a couple of my SDSU bros ended with …
Sixth and Revelle Invade Muir
In a “treacherous” and “cowardly” maneuver, the “barbaric” Sixth and Revelle Colleges have simultaneously declared war on the Sublime College of Muir. Allied forces have been …
Aircrafts to Only Fly at ‘Worst Possible Time’
“INAUDABLE,” said Andrew Jeong.Photo by Ariel Chen In a “historic” effort, both UC San Diego and the 3rd Air Wing of the United States Marine Corps, …
