Madeline Mozafari

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

My Study Abroad Experience Changed My Life and You’re Going to Hear About It Whether You Want to or Not

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

How was my summer? Oh, just incredible! I lived in Italy for two whole months. Yeah, it was a really formative experience. I was in a …

ArticlesEntertainmentNewsTech

Pluto Violates Subscription Terms, Loses Planetary Status

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

“They ripped me off,” said Jupiter. “I paid for a whole year’s subscription, but they only gave me 365 days.”Photo by Julia Wong When Pluto first …

Center SpreadFeatures

Astrology – Your Whorescope

Written by: James Woolley and Madeline Mozafari

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. Click here to view the original PDF! (Desktop browser recommended.)

ArticlesCampusNews

UC San Diego Bans Sale of Caffeinated Beverages

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

“Caffeine is technically a drug,” noted one police officer. “That means it should be illegal.”Photo by Amit Roth Citing a new study by Dr. Walter Jolt-a-Lot, …

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Organic Chemistry Is Made Up

Written by: Micah Gilbert and Madeline Mozafari

I simply cannot do it anymore. I cannot suspend my belief in the way of the world and pretend that I understand what the hell an …

Briefs

Local Student Stops Getting Gas, Car Still Runs “Just Fine”

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

Sophie Pubb, a third-year math major at UCSD, reportedly stopped filling the gas tank of her 1999 Honda Civic after two weeks of back-to-back midterms at …

FeaturesOther Features

Horoscopes for February 8, 2023

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

Aquarius – Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Happy Aquarius season! This month, your power-ups include finding pennies on the ground, never pulling a muscle at the …

Briefs

Starbucks’ Holiday Cups Cost Extra This Year

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

After years of Novemberly outrage about Starbucks’ holiday red cups, the coffee company has elected to make the controversial cups an add-on to their drinks instead …

ArticlesCampusNews

Student Fakes Her Own Death to Avoid Jury Duty

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

“RIP, and by that I mean rest in perjury,” said an anonymous student.Photo by Maria Dhilla After hearing the news that her roommate Ayla Burton passed …

Briefs

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III

Written by: Madeline Mozafari

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III After the death of Queen Elizabeth II, citizens of the United Kingdom were concerned that they …