Madeline Mozafari

ArticlesEditorialOpinion

Organic Chemistry Is Made Up

Written by:

I simply cannot do it anymore. I cannot suspend my belief in the way of the world and pretend that I understand what the hell an …

ArticlesCampusNews

UC San Diego Bans Sale of Caffeinated Beverages

Written by:

“Caffeine is technically a drug,” noted one police officer. “That means it should be illegal.”Photo by Amit Roth Citing a new study by Dr. Walter Jolt-a-Lot, …

Briefs

Local Student Stops Getting Gas, Car Still Runs “Just Fine”

Written by:

Sophie Pubb, a third-year math major at UCSD, reportedly stopped filling the gas tank of her 1999 Honda Civic after two weeks of back-to-back midterms at …

FeaturesOther Features

Horoscopes for February 8, 2023

Written by:

Aquarius – Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 Happy Aquarius season! This month, your power-ups include finding pennies on the ground, never pulling a muscle at the …

Briefs

Starbucks’ Holiday Cups Cost Extra This Year

Written by:

After years of Novemberly outrage about Starbucks’ holiday red cups, the coffee company has elected to make the controversial cups an add-on to their drinks instead …

ArticlesCampusNews

Student Fakes Her Own Death to Avoid Jury Duty

Written by:

“RIP, and by that I mean rest in perjury,” said an anonymous student.Photo by Maria Dhilla After hearing the news that her roommate Ayla Burton passed …

Briefs

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III

Written by:

British Currency Depicts Prince William Instead of King Charles III After the death of Queen Elizabeth II, citizens of the United Kingdom were concerned that they …

ArticlesLocalNews

Scarecrows to Be Used to Alleviate Teacher Shortage

Written by:

“It is such an honor to be taught by someone who won the Fields Medal in computational agriculture,” commented Ayla.Photo by Maria Dhilla In San Diego …

Briefs

For Local Frog, “It Ain’t Easy Being Green”

Written by:

Listen. Listen! Lean in here. All the way down, buddy. You see where I live? This absolutely gorgeous miniature log cabin is my home. I live …

Bon AppétitFeaturesSpecial Issue

Dorm Room Dinner Party

Written by: