Janice Kim
Last S Spot Declared UNESCO World Heritage Site
“What the hell did the S even stand for?!” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Jordan Whitlow Over the course of the last school year, the university’s Parking …
Linguist Discovers True Meaning of Christmas
As a result of the resoundingly successful United Auto Workers’ strike negotiations, academic workers are cashing in the micro-sabbaticals the University of California added to their …
ChatGPT Caught Cheating on Student
“I thought we were in an open source relationship!” said ChatGPT.Photo by Julia Wong Navigating multiple deferrals and the students sleeping in their hallways, the Academic …
You Are Not Snow White vs Tell That to These Fucking Ravens
POINT: You Are Not Snow White Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I practice the tradition of frolicking through Eucalyptus Grove and serenading my entourage of forest …
Conan O’Brien Returns as Sixth College’s Namesake
The Conan O’Fryin barbecue began with a Cannon O’Brien 21-gun salute.Photo by Amit Roth After more than 21 years of sticking “passive-aggressive” Post-it Notes to their …
Ask Emily Queue: Eco-Friendly Halloween
Dear Emily Queue, how soon can I start stealing other people’s Jack-o’-lanterns to compost? Is this really where we’re at? This is basic etiquette, people. As …
