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Vampire Appreciation Club Promotes Dress Code Change

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Romella Sagatelian During UC San Diego’s first week of instruction, …

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UCSD to Repaint Geisel Lobby After Redesign Blinds Students

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“We want students to be drawn to the library like moths to a flame,” said Gibbons.Photo by Julia Wong Upon the recent unveiling of the new …

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Academic Integrity Violators Sent to Boingo’s Bathhouse

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Sharon Roth The previous motto of UC San Diego, “Plagiarize …

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Student Fakes Her Own Death to Avoid Jury Duty

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Maria Dhilla After hearing the news that her roommate Ayla …

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Ninth College Construction Hits Rock Bottom

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“Yeah, there were a few preventable issues,” admitted one engineer. “We probably should’ve done a dry run first.”Photo by Sharon Roth UC San Diego students who …

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Student Shocked to Discover Pete Davidson is Now Dating Her Mother

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“He has so many tattoos, I feel like it would be more special if he didn’t get one of my name,” said Jennifer Dong.Photo by James …

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Minotaur Discovered in UCSD Tunnels

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“There’s a minotaur in the tunnels? I call bullshit,” announced one fourth-year.Photo by Amit Roth It is common knowledge among UC San Diego students that there …

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Khosla Announces Partnership with Saudi Arabia to Bring “The Segment” to UCSD Campus

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“Mr. Khosla, tear down this wall!” cried Helsing.Photo by Gary Ficks Over the past year, UCSD has promised to increase its housing supply in an attempt …

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Geisel Renovation to Include New Crying Booths in Response to Rising Mental Health Concerns

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Pitt said, “This whole time, I thought CBT stood for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Now I know it stands for Crying Booth Treatment.”Photo by Julia Wong Throughout …

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Study Finds New Sixth College Students Don’t Know How Good They Have It

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One spectator commented, “Wow, this feels like the third installment in a trilogy. I wonder if I could go onto TheMQ.org and find the prequels.”Photo by …