Campus
UCSD Implements Official Land Acknowledgment ‘Thanks to ChatGPT’
“As a human representative of this university, I am not contractually obligated to show empathy,” said Chancellor Khosla.Photo by Dylan Schmidt Alongside an announcement released by …
MOM’s Adopts a Child
“We’re not a mom and pop shop, we’re a mom and mom shop!” said Mah Mi.Photo by Connor Betterly In 1967, MOM’s (Middle of Muir) Café …
UCSD Transportation Services Debuts Airline
“What’s the deal with HDH airline food?” asked one student.Photo by Connor Betterly This weekend, Chancellor Pradeep Khosla announced that, in an effort to ease students’ …
UCSD Announces Plan to Become Carbon Neutral
“The warmth of Chancellor Khosla’s new car is enough for all of Sixth College,” said one student.Photo by Julia Wong In order to become carbon neutral, …
UCSD Introduces Productivity Pods to Help Students Study
“These are apparently a part of the new study a-pod program,” said Stanly Wrighter.Photo by Erica Rosslee In preparation for the upcoming final exams, UC San …
Eucalyptus Grove Marches on Geiselgard
“To all the students who think they can support the Ent uprising, I have one thing to say to you,” said Chancellor Pradeep Khosla. “You shall …
UCSD Begs Students to Have More Sex
“I can’t believe our virginity rate is even higher than our acceptance rate!” said Dill Doe.Photo by Julia Wong Since its establishment, UC San Diego has …
HDH Announces Tactical Operations to Track Down Missing Dining Hall Dishes
“I had like five bottles of liquor in my dorm room, but they ignored that to get to my dirty plate,” said one student.Photo by Julia …
University Claims ‘The Creature Isn’t Our Problem’
“I spoke to The Creature and I thought he was a really nice guy,” said one UCSD administrator.Photo by Julia Wong Last Monday, UC San Diego …
UCSD to Convert Individual Parking Spaces Into ‘Housing Solutions’
“When I came back from my 8 a.m. class, some asshole had parked his Prius in my living room,” complained one resident.Photo by Amit Roth UC …
