Campus
Local College Club Told to Waste University Money, Wastes University Money
UCSD has reported a 20,000 dollar loss since the beginning of December that is unrelated to professors’ pay, dorm renovations, or raising the quality of food …
Humanities Recruitment Actually a Front for Gathering Small Army
Last month, UCSD’s Arts and Humanities Advantage (AHa) Outreach Internship Program received the Innovation Grant. The program focuses on recruitment for the department, but does not …
Hopeless Romantic Ignores 13th Straight Tinder Match
Leading up to the annual February 14 rush of love-seeking that most call Valentine’s Day, Alex Pross downloaded the popular dating app Tinder, in hopes of …
Scientists Claim Tectonics are Pushing Sixth College Away at Rate of Nail Growth
Scientists have finally come forward to say in their own words what everyone was thinking: “Sixth College is simply TOO far away.” A confidential scientific source …
Local Student Gets Organized, Almost Fools Self into Thinking She Has Life Together
Emily Adlet Roe, second-year UCSD student, reported Monday that she had organized her “whole life” for the first time. When pressed, Roe admitted that when she …
Local Asbestos in Ceiling Feeling Lonely, Wants to Come Out
Students in Revelle’s Argo Hall have reported hearing loud sobbing in the middle of the night for the past couple of weeks. A thorough investigation concluded …
Local Students Refuse to Forgive TA for Small Mistake
On Wednesday night, an anonymous TA reportedly added a negative sign where there should not have been one in homework problem 37 of Math 20D. Witnesses …
Undeclared Student Appeases Father, Finally Declares Miscommunications Major
Two weeks ago, formerly undeclared sophomore Jared Johnston “finally gave into both his father’s and UCSD’s wishes” and declared a major, choosing to pursue a B.A. …
UCSD Farmer’s Market Disappoints New Students, Has No Farmers for Sale
On Tuesday, UCSD’s first farmer’s market of the year occurred, leaving many first years saddened, horrified, and betrayed over the lack of farmers for sale. Many …
UCSD Students Continue to Argue They “Wouldn’t Have Gone to UCLA Even If They Got In”
This year has proven to be one of the most competitive years for college applicants, with a record number of applications for all University of California …
