Professor Unable to Connect to Projector, Unable to Lecture

Written by: The MQ

After refusing help from the students for the fourth time, the professor again tried to find the mysterious “HDMI” inside his computer.
Photo by: Jacob Aguirre

Last Monday, David Queology, a professor at UCSD, told reporters that he completely lost his ability to lecture that morning due to irreparable technical difficulties. Queology reported that he had arrived at his 9 a.m. lecture anticipating that he would cover an entire chapter’s worth of information, but was met with “sorrow and utter disappointment” after his MacBook Pro would not connect to the classroom’s projector.

“For some reason he couldn’t get his HDMI cordplugged into his computer,” said Jane Gordon, one of Queology’s students. “He spent the first ten minutes of class restarting his computer over and over again to try to get his slides to project. That’s not how that works.”

Students described their professor as becoming visibly frustrated by the ineffectiveness of restarting his computer, but he refused to stop trying.

“Professor Q took the projector remote, pointed it at the projector screen like it was a TV, and started mashing the power button,” Jason Evry, another one of Queology’s students, told reporters. “Like, has this dude ever seen a projector before? I mean, it didn’t work the first time he did it, so why did he keep doing it?”

After that, Queology reportedly picked up his laptop and held it above his head, in his words, as a way to “get the internet working again.”

“He literally held his computer up to the ceiling like it was a cell phone that lost service,” Gordon said. “It didn’t work at first, so he climbed onto one of the desks and started to wave his laptop back and forth. He did that for a good 20 minutes before getting sweaty and out of breath.”

After his last attempt at getting his computer to connect to the projector,
Queology called the IT Service Desk and asked a representative to help him get his laptop to “work like it did when my son helped me.” Lola Delgado, a UCSD IT Service employee, told reporters that she was unable to assist Queology when she first arrived to the scene, because Queology was unable to coherently express the issues he was having with his computer.

“He was telling me that he got some kind of a virus on his computer after he was awarded a Best Buy gift card for being the 1,000,000th viewer of a porn website.” Delgado said. “Then he told me that his eight-year-old son had ‘broken the Wi-Fi’ at his home earlier in the week, and asked me if that was what caused his computer to be unable to connect to the projector.”

After spending five minutes working with Queology’s computer, Delgado told reporters that she discovered that Queology’s laptop did not have an HDMI adaptor, and was therefore unable to connect to the overhead projector, at which point class had ended.

Following this incident, Queology sent out a mass email to his students that detailed the reason for his computer’s ineptitude. The email also stated that class would resume on Thursday, and that students can expect a successful and worthwhile lecture. Until then, Queology has uploaded Monday’s PowerPoint slides about “Natural Language Processing in Modern Computer Architecture” onto TritonEd.

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