Jacob King

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Leaked Internal Twitter Memo States that Elon Musk “Has No Idea What He’s Doing”

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Reports of events at Twitter headquarters were not officially confirmed, but were verified by an anonymous Twitter employee.Photo by Julia Wong Recently, Elon Musk finalized his …

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UC on Day seven of Not Understanding the Point of a Union

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For the past week, a coalition of four unions representing academic workers across the UC system went on strike due to the university’s unlawful bargaining practices. …

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Cabal Controlling Rotten Tomatoes Outed After “Black Adam” Release

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Ahead of its premiere, Black Adam received a Rotten Tomatoes score of 52%. “I remember watching Man of Steel when I was eight years old. I’ve …

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Italy Elects Mussolini’s Reanimated Corpse as Prime Minister

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Last week, Giorgia Meloni, who was expected to become Italy’s first female prime minister, stepped down as head of the Brothers of Italy Party. Meloni made …

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Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe”

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Elon Musk Declares Himself “Techno-Emperor of the Universe” Musk made the announcement on Twitter this morning, where he also said that he has “already been forcing …

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Amidst Recession Fears, U.S. Federal Reserve Adopts New Monetary Policy of “Get Your Money Up”

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“I want you to grind really hard,” said Jerome Powell, chair of the Federal Reserve.Photo by Julia Wong After two quarters of negative economic growth and …

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The U.S. to Start Broadcasting All Court Proceedings Following Popularity of Heard-Depp Trial

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One attorney concluded, “I rest my case, just like I rest on this MyPillow.”Photo by Maria Dhilla Last Tuesday, the White House announced a new executive …

Briefs

27 Best New Products to Buy In 2022

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27 Best New Products to Buy In 2022 In a hurry? Need to buy a gift for a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband? Got a special …

ArticlesBon AppétitEditorialIs It Ever OkayOpinionSpecial Issue

Is it Ever Okay – Estranged Father

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Every time my child brings up his estranged father, I take him to McDonald’s to distract him. Am I a horrible person?— FAST FOOD FRANKIE Well, …

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Chicago Restaurant Review – Gordon Crunch’s Honest-to-God American Brunch

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The second you walk into Gordon’s Crunch Honest-to-God American Brunch, you are introduced to a version of America as beautiful and fake as Disneyland. For just …