DeSantis “Lost in Space” After Disastrous Second Campaign Re-Announcement

Briefs

Written by: Jacob King

Following the backlash from his original presidential campaign announcement, Governor Ron DeSantis reportedly “fell off the face of the Earth,” neither appearing publicly nor reporting to his job in Florida. Police were unable to locate him until yesterday, when a DeSantis supporter tweeted at Elon Musk asking him to “find our lord,” to which Musk responded, “Curious, looking into it.” In response, a SpaceX employee replied to Musk saying: “You know where he is. You put him on a ship, ignored every engineer and physicist that told you your plans were flawed, and launched him anyway.”

NASA has confirmed that SpaceX launched a rocket with DeSantis on it and that the agency has no record of the flight landing. Musk has “refused to address the rumors” by saying, “Ron wanted to go big or go home for his next announcement. He seems to be doing that.”

After multiple attempts to locate and contact the ship, NASA successfully reached DeSantis, who is “spending his days contemplating how to make the lives of every minority group in Florida worse.”

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