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Written by: Jacob King, Jeannie Kim, Theo Erickson, Alberto Ruiz and Amit Roth

Heads up – this feature is from our special Cosmopolitan issue. As such, it may not come across as it was originally meant to in print. Click here to view the original PDF! (Desktop browser recommended.)


In a bangin’ 1944 issue of Cosmo, the article ROSIE THE RIVETER: THE AMERICAN WOMAN AT WORK was published, and boy, does it inspire … No more do men on the street put sweet Rosie down and call her a homemaker. Now, donning boots on the factory floor, she gets the same height her heels usually give her, but with a little extra feeling of empowerment. Oh, how wonderful it is to work! How sweet it is, Rosie thinks, to come home, wipe the soot off her face, and apply a fresh coat of cold cream so her skin is soft and smooth for another day’s toil! Young kids, low pay, long hours, overseas sweetheart … none of it bothers Rosie. She’s a strong one. A patriot, that girl — and an example for all of us.


SETH IST wrote the article A GOOD WOMAN’S ROLE IN THE WORKFORCE in a 1957 issue of Cosmo saying … Don’t you worry about what the men at your job are making. Men are born to support their families, and your income is just a little extra on top. But if you’re dead set on finding a job with decent pay, secretaries are always in demand. If you’re lucky enough to land a good job in one of the big buildings downtown, make sure to hold on to it, because it’s a fast-paced man’s world in the business sector. High heels and a smile are the best way to keep your boss liking you — and remain employed. And hey, maybe he’ll even like you enough to marry you! It’s happened before. So keep dreaming about being swept off your feet by one of the top executives and finally getting to quit to start the easy, fulfilling life of childrearing and homemaking.


In Cosmo’s June 1966 issue, CARRY SMITH answers the question WILL THE PILL TURN WOMEN INTO HOMOSEXUAL POOL PLAYERS? with the following … I approached the local bar, Rubyfruit Jungle, to conduct an informal survey on women pool players. There I met Sal, a woman with short hair — deliciously Shirley MacLaine-chic.
“Are you on the pill?” I asked her.
Sal laughed. “What’s Maggie saying about me now?”
“Nothing — I’m a reporter on survey,” I said. Realizing my mistake, I gathered the room’s informed consent before collecting the results: 82% were not on the pill, 98% chose not to report their sexuality, and 2% said they were “as straight as any man.” I believe the 98% were secretive because they didn’t want to associate any boyfriends with their gambling habits; this would also explain why there were no men present in the bar. Regardless, concerns of the pill causing homosexual pool-playing is mere anti-liberation fearmongering. Not that it’s anything other than a woman’s individual choice to be a pool player.


KYLE ELYK wrote the article GROUNDBREAKING WOMEN IN POWER in a 1974 issue of Cosmo saying … After successfully overthrowing the democratically elected president Salvadore Allende in Chile, the CIA has once again started interviewing candidates for dictator, but this time limiting the position exclusively to women. In an internal statement, the agency said: “With all this second-wave feminism, we figured that maybe a woman is just as capable of brutally crushing a communist insurrection just as well as any man. If this goes well, we have our eye on a couple other countries that could also use women dictators.” The CIA’s job listing said it was looking for someone who is “easily manipulated, but still projects power” and “searching for a fun adventure away from the home” to ultimately “take the ‘dick’ out of dictator.” Many top government officials are worried that with a woman as dictator, she could easily be tricked into being a communist by Fidel Castro’s so-called “Hunky Latino Handsomeness.”


BETTINA BOBBY’s 1982 article about the WARDROBE OF THE FUTURE talks to the simple votaries of the action movie craze of the time … It’s great that women feel like they can make their own choices by all choosing to wear head-to-toe denim and leather. But why not engage in some daring counterculture and pick silk? With my mysterious, feminine curves hidden under stiff fabrics, I feel so confined by the tired norm I see everywhere! A subversive blouse gets the job done and then some. I’m all for touting the “hot action heroine chic” style, but how forward-thinking is this “butch” craze really? I don’t want to dress like a gender stereotype — this time a man’s! — in order to “break the status quo!” When I replaced my wardrobe with blouses, skirts, and dresses, my life became so much more breathable, flowing, and non-threatening. Now that’s progressive!

Assistant Web Editor at The MQ

17 shots no 38

Amit is a cog in this machine. But doesn't everything run on optic cables or something?

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